How about algorithms to punish inefficient human behavior on elevators:
a. If people are on the elevator, it stops on a floor for a button that has been pressed, and no one gets off (as measured by weight), this means that someone must have pressed a button by accident. Switch from soft muzac to loud Rich Ashley music until the next stop.
b. If someone enters an elevator (as measured by weight) and within 3 seconds 2 buttons are pressed within 1 second of each other by the same finger (as determined by biometrics), that means some dumbass couldn't even press the correct button. Shock them on the second button press.
c. If the elevator is planning to discharge passengers (see a.), and people get on before people get off (as measured by weight), dump hot liquid on the rude entering passengers (those closest to the door).
d. Photograph anyone who summons the elevator by pressing the up or down button on their floor. If the elevator stops and no one gets on (as measured by weight), post their picture on elevatordouchebags.com.
e. If anyone farts on an elevator (as determined by sensors), identify them with a spotlight so that the sufferers don't have to guess who made them suffer.
f. If anyone gets on the elevator without a cart or baby carriage (as determined by sensors) and presses 1 floor down, go up 1 floor instead. When the door opens, flash a message, "Use the stairs next time!"
g. If too many people get on (as measured by weight), open door slightly and shake violently, knocking people out until the weight is under the limit.
Any other ideas?