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Comment by fullstackchris | Hacker News Reader

I disagree with this general sentiment. I don't think absolutely 0 social media is feasible or even wise this day in age. How are you going to keep up with family, friends, and so on? (In my case, family and friends span multiple states, countries, and continents!) You would at the very least need a phone - ok, that's maybe not "social media" in the sense this article talks about, but it's still tech at the end of the day. You'd anyway likely need an app like WhatsApp or Telegram to keep track of everybody and everything - and those technically ARE considered social media right?

Like all things, "social media" is good only with strict moderation and balance. The real problem is that people let their usage get out of hand.

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That is like solving the opioid crisis by saying "you should use painkillers in moderation" or the obesity epidemic by saying "we all just need to be disciplined with what you eat."

The issue is systemic. Most people's idea of "social Media" today is the algorithm-fueled, privacy-invading, advertising funded model which divorces the users from the curation of good content.

We need social media platforms that are not owned by Big Tech, and we need to reject the notion that it is okay to data tracking and ads one exchange of a "free" service.

pro tip: start liking underwear ads on Facebook. you will get to see good looking ladies instead of whatever bullshit you usually get

Real pro tip: just use an ad blocker.

> You'd anyway likely need an app like WhatsApp or Telegram to keep track of everybody and everything - and those technically ARE considered social media right?

If you consider them social media, that would imply telephone itself is a social media, which makes a definition of the word "social media" somewhat useless for distinguishing services such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and similar.

  >You'd anyway likely need an app like WhatsApp or Telegram to keep track of everybody and everything - and those technically ARE considered social media right?...

Are they? I don't consider WhatsApp, Telegram and the like as social media. I don't know if there's a definitive definition for what is or isn't social media. But my own definition is that social media is a medium where you have your discussions in public. So Twitter, Facebook, Discord.. etc. [And, by that definition, I suppose a lot of forums and even HN discussions would be social media].

WhatsApp, Telegram, etc. I'd class more as private communications, alongside email and written letters.

  >I don't think absolutely 0 social media is feasible or even wise this day in age. How are you going to keep up with family, friends, and so on?...

I use Telegram for that. I have managed to persuade everyone in my family to join Telegram and a lot of my friends are on it too. I've set up a Family Channel which includes siblings, in-laws etc. where we can all share the latest goings on within the extended family and swap photos etc. All the social interaction we need, with a geographically scattered family, to all keep in touch. But without the [to me, anyway] incomprehensible need that so many other people seem to feel to broadcast our private family and circle of friends business to the entire world.

On the rare occaasions I've looked at social media content --especially Twitter or Facebook, I'm gobsmacked by the way conversations between people reveal so much personal info about themselves. It's like a huge number of social media users have some kind of mental block whereby they think if they @friend some really personal stuff, only @friend will see it. When the reality is @friend, @enemy, @employer, @parents, @spouse, @anyone-who-happens-to-be-passing-by... etc. are now privvy to that personal info.

I wonder how many of these people are also concerned about buying a Chinese phone, in case it 'spies' on them. When they're broadcasting practically their entire personal life, for all the world to see.

Yeah the only reasons I can think of to cut it out entirely is because you want people to see how brave and pious you are, or because you're addicted and need to cut out the temptation to waste your life on Twitter entirely.

I can understand the latter, but there's nothing noble about refusing to use social media at all.

It is totally feasible. I never had Facebook or Twitter and the likes and a know many people who stay away as well.

A friend of mine does not even have a phone, i meet him regularly, he has a job in IT and does just fine.

The Family has a Group on Signal, then there are a bunch of other groups on WhatsApp for friends and work.

Chat apps differ from social media in that they don't spam you with other peoples crap.

And i don't need lists of "friends" which i never see on whatever social media site.

Who cares about people you never see in person?

I have a contact list and just call or write if i want something.

The contact list is synced via CardDav to my calendar so i don't forget birthdays which is about the only useful thing social media provides.

>How are you going to keep up with family, friends, and so on?

Yeah, god forbid you actually visit them, invite them over, and talk to them on the phone, or, text them...

>you'd anyway likely need an app like WhatsApp or Telegram to keep track of everybody and everything - and those technically ARE considered social media right?

No, technically they are considered chat apps...

And you wont need those either...

Or god forbid that you find out a week after the event that Mavis, your cousins aunt went to the shops only to discover that you couldnt get any green apples today.

> Yeah, god forbid you actually visit them, invite them over, and talk to them on the phone, or, text them...

Think for a minute. You went on a vacation and want to show your families and relatives your photos. Are you going to send 20 photos to each of them via zip file?

Your families, relatives, and friends don't want to see your vacation photos. In fact, they absolutely, completely, hate it.

If the need arises, you can send them a zip file, yes. Or upload them on Dropbox. Or share a link from Apple or Google Photos (both offer the option).

There’s a problem with the definition of “social media”—we no longer differentiate between messaging apps and what we used to just call “social network sites”, which are generally understood to be content feeds that are optimised for infinite consumption. I think that people would generally agree that messaging apps are not as harmful as the latter, but it’s usually the latter that most people are trying to avoid.

I understand the need to communicate with loved ones, but really, you don’t even need to “keep up” because living one’s own life and reaching for one’s own ambitions should be time-consuming and tiring enough. And then I’m not willing to listen to any perspective that justifies the need for content feeds in one’s life—no news feed is innocent and all news feeds are just utilities for ads. If you really want to know what’s up with someone who matters in your life, you can and you should just ask them directly.

No, a phone is not social media. Nor is a standard messaging app. Social media is, in my opinion, any platform or service that connects you with an unknown number of users, a feed, and has some form of "likes" or "upvoting" involved. So simply messaging friends and family via your phone wouldn't qualify. But Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, and Reddit all would. And I agree with the author, social media (according to my definition), comes with an enormous number of negative consequences and we are all probably better off without it, on the whole (and yes, I realize that I am saying this on HackerNews, which also counts as social media according to that definition).

If you use a platform just for that, it seems fine. The problem is when you use multiple platforms under the excuse that you need to keep up with family. The problem is the distractions that the platform is pushing to you, making you waste a significant amount of time.

10 years ago, I had a Facebook account and the rule to have up to 50 contacts ("friends") that I was using 10 minutes per day. When that was no longer possible, I closed the account.

Deleting social media apps from your phone is a good start. I removed Facebook earlier this year after getting into one too many arguments with my conspiracy prone father.

I still login from time to time. I just do it via the website. It has become less of a compulsion, to the point that my partner sometimes has to prompt me to look at some photos or like some important life event from a friend. I'm ok with that.

I keep up with my closest friends with a Signal group chat, and the rest of my friends just text/call/email me to get in touch.

I guess your point that “anything can be social media if you call it that” is… technically true linguistically, I have genuinely no idea what that has to do with people that choose not to use Facebook/Instagram/Twitter.

I self-moderate people on social media who go into politics too often. Luckily my family mostly moved to messenger and keeps the discussion to personal matters (kids, illnesses, activities etc)

The few times we talk about politics, are calm and measured discussions even though we disagree on many policy issues.

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