> I try to use depersonalized language for this reason. Instead of saying "you" did this (yeah that's right, YOU), I'll tell someone that their account is doing something, or that their comment is a certain way. This creates distance between their account or their comment and them, which leaves them freer to be receptive and to change.
My sense is that this is a worthy thing to do (first of all because it's intellectually correct to blame actions rather than people, and second of all because if you're right about the effect it's all upside). But I suspect this will produce very little introspection, maybe a tiny but on the margins.
It's pretty normal in an argument between two people IRL that one will say something like "That was a stupid comment" or "Stop acting like an asshole" -- both uses of distancing language -- and the other person will respond "Don't call me stupid" or "Don't call me an asshole". I think most people who are on the receiving end of even polite correction are going to elide the distancing step.
On the social psych side, I have no idea whether there's any validated way to encourage someone to be more introspective, take a breath, try to switch down into type-II processing, etc.