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Comment by j_walter | Hacker News Reader

This is a lesson most people don't learn till they are older (if ever). It's hard to convince someone in their 20's that they shouldn't be spending money on status things in order to gain friends or a romantic partner. When you are older and settled down it's much easier to not care what other people think of you.

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>> When you are older and settled down

In general when you are settled down it is easier to care less about trying to gain additional romantic partners.

But friends or romantic partner is actually what's important in life. Wealth is just a number on a ledger. We can debate whether friends gained through status or partners gained through status are ideal friends or ideal partners. But its undeniable that friends and romantic partner is much more important to life than wealth.

No? It is not undeniable. Maybe for a huge chunk of people who require socialization or they eat themselves. But this bizarre idea that you HAVE to have friends and romance to be healthy is ridiculous.

quick, someone go tell those in poverty that wealth is just a number on a ledger!

You're right, it feels like spitting in someone's face while they're down.

But almost always people are well-meaning when they make these comments about wealth as an abstract concept. It's just that their privilege makes it difficult for them to see how condescending it can come off as.

I think your reminder is valuable, and I appreciate you highlighting that. Maybe you might be able to give that perspective to people who don't have it yet.

Eventually you realize that if you need to prove status or wealth to gain friends or a romantic partner...then those aren't really the people you want to surround yourself with. Or maybe you don't realize this and will remain poor trying to always show how much money you have to people so that they will be impressed.

Not sure how much age helps. My granddad was fond of saying that young fools grow up to be old fools.

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