But the 17,000 music tracks in my library crashes the jellyfin server every time I tried to play music.
Plex and Emby phone home all the time (why should they need to do that when all my media is local? No thanks!)
And so I stick with Mythtv[0] (which really seems out of favor with folks these days) which has awesome codec support (I haven't had to transcode anything, it just plays -- probably because ffmpeg is their back end).
It plays my music library, it plays and manages my 10,000+ item video library, supports a real remote control (in my case an Inteset 422[3]) via IR or Wifi.
I can keep my backend (server) (VM with multiple data sources) and frontend (playback/library management) version sync'ed with normal update processes via the appropriate software repositories (in my case, RPM Fusion on Fedora, but other distros[1] have the same).
It doesn't support streaming from Android/IOS/etc, but I just make my libraries externally available via Nextcloud[2], which meets my remote streaming needs.
No, it's not perfect. Yes, the add-on ecosystem is pretty awful. The devs seem much more interested in the DVR functionality (which I don't use) than the video/music library functionality.
That said, it's under active development with regular bug fixes and feature releases and has a fairly active user community.
But there's zero external communication required (unlike Plex or Emby), nor are there any commercial integrations (well, if you want to use the DVR functionality you do need to buy a yearly subscription (IIRC ~USD$15) for the guide data, but I don't use the DVR functionality, so I don't need it).
There certainly are limitations:
1. No streaming apps, but I don't care about that. If I want a streaming client I'll just use my roku;
2. Grabbing video metadata can be a pill if file naming conventions are too different from themoviedb.org and/or thetvdb.com;
3. No direct torrent integrations;
It's not fabulous, but it works for me. And if you just want something to host/play your local media, it's pretty darn good.
Did I mention that I have yet to transcode anything to get video (with or without subtitles) to play?
[1] https://www.mythtv.org/wiki/Packages#Targeted_Linux_Distribu...
[3] https://www.intesettech.com/product/4-in-1-int422-universal-...