Most everyone I know just sits on their phones, computers, or TVs a good portion of the day. All boredom is banished, all gaps are filled. The threshold for participation and collaboration is higher, because why risk boredom when you have guaranteed-minimum-satisfaction available.
I see this a lot too, but I disagree with the conclusion. I think more people are bored today than have been before. (How many of you browse Netflix or YouTube, jumping platforms, thinking "there's nothing to watch") But we need to recognize that engagement does not mean a lack of boredom but rather addiction. As the article points out, people are substantially more risk adverse now.
While that may be good for things like less people doing heavy drinking and such, our lives are inherently risky. If you talk to people about why they have a hard time making friends you'll find that this risk adverse nature often pops up (not the only cause, but one of many). Same with dating. Any type of relationship is inherently risky. You WILL get hurt by some of them too, but that is the price to pay for the high rewards of successful relationships (which can form online).
So I am in agreement that there is a "why risk it" aspect of people, but not about boredom. I believe we are self isolating because that's what animals do, especially depressed ones. If our lives are comfortable enough there is little incentive to take any risks. So it sounds weird, but I think a major part of the issue is that our lives have become so well off that there is fewer incentives to push ourselves out of our comfort zones[0]. But we are human too and able to find challenges for ourselves and create discomfort when there is none. This is a double edged sword that is difficult to wield, but I think it is important that we learn it. It is how we better ourselves: putting ourselves in uncomfortable positions[1].
[0] I do think this also plays a role in the (global) rise in authoritarianism, but that is too much for this comment.
[1] Even doing things like learning to code, ride a bike, or learn an instrument requires putting ourselves in uncomfortable positions. Specifically because you're never good at something when you first start. But the challenge is supposed to make us stronger.
We’re all tip toeing around something. The statistics are suggesting that we have no friends, no relationships, no jobs, no kids, no marriage, and so on, which kind of defines a meaningless life.
If in the back of your mind you sort of know that, then the other statistics kick in, uptick in depression, anxiety, and loneliness.
Is the solution to fix the risk aspect, the boredom aspect, or should we stop telling people their life sucks which they indulge in via their self pity, or, is there at least one society on earth right now that’s not like this that we can look to?
Some part of me is starting to believe the answer is far simpler:
Everyone, snap the fuck out of it. Your life sucks, but it also doesn’t. We’re all going to be fine.
This is kinda what I was getting at before. The things that make us uniquely human are our abilities to override our natural tendencies. I figure that's what you're suggesting with this line.
To dig further into what I've said before about people being comfortable and existential concerns, I think part of the problem here is that it is harder to determine how to take action. The gap is quite large from where we are to where we need to be. In every day complications it is easy to break down a need into several tasks with clear goals. Whereas existential and abstract problems seem insurmountable and difficult to break down because of their complexities (a thing humans aren't particularly well equipped to handle through natural means). So it is easier to just lay flat. But I think part of what makes us human is being able to light that internal fire yourself, though it is not anywhere near as simple as it sounds.
With more basic needs met I think it's fine folks may spend more time in arbitrary leisure. Even if it means less time doing meat space activities or producing fewer children.
To paraphrase Donald Rumsfeld, there are known unknowns and unknown unknowns. Usually, when we challenge ourselves, we extrapolate from, and build previously understood models/variables or slight variations thereof in order to expand our knowledge. From this we form an expanded model that takes us even farther before. That is how we form calculated risks. These are our known unknowns. This is the kind of scenario that is conducive to challenging oneself should the potential rewards outway the potential losses.
However, there are situations where you have no ability to craft a reasonable risk model, due to ignorance or, whether one is aware of it or not, faulty information. These experiential black boxes are built on hidden or heavily abstracted variables that aren't replicable or controllable. However well-defined the goal, the actual payoff is elusive. The costs/losses can't be known until after fact if at all, by which point one may have already suffered them. One can only assess the range of opportunity costs concerning the undertaking of the decision or not. Dating and/or marriage in general — but especially in the last decade or so — fall into this category.
> You WILL get hurt by some of them too, but that is the price to pay for the high rewards of successful relationships (which can form online).
Perseverance may be a necessary condition to find a high quality relationship, but isn't a sufficient one [1]. There's a point where such a pursuit becomes self-defeating masochism. Losses don't automatically stop at 0 and we don't get our time back. "Why risk it" is a necessary question to ask, because if you can't answer it, then it isn't wise to undertake a process that can make one more poorer in time, money, self-satisfaction, and health than when one first started.
[1] That's to say nothing of whether such a relationship will continue to be a high quality one after obtaining it.
Your phone, like your tv is actually mostly quite boring and needs a bunch of flashy gimmicks to keep you watching, a la Letterman's "tonight's top 10" launch animations to try and hold your interest over how they didn't have the content for 3 jokes in a week let alone 50.
Quick edit to something different with colour and movement!
And they were right then, too. I despise the television.
It's like opening up to so many possibilities, even to creativity, as you can start imagining the all possible threads that create those amazing stop-inducing plots. Thank you!