Hacker News Reader

Comment by rrdharan | Hacker News Reader

Since folks are sharing stories.. I lived in the Mission for about 10 years (2003-2012).

My apartment was broken into, my car was broken into multiple times, my roommate was mugged at knifepoint and stabbed (she was fine), my bike was stripped for parts (they stole the handlebars / shifters and seat while it was locked up), and my car was stolen, driven around the neighborhood in broad daylight when I spotted it at 19th and South Van Ness and tried to steal it back and was almost run over, and then it was disposed of in Hunter’s Point completely stripped and wrecked (no passenger seat, interior panels, stick shift, battery or wheels).

Amusingly though I moved to NYC because of boredom, a bad breakup and the abysmal dating prospects, not the constant crime.

View on HN

Tbh I'd leave after the bike getting stripped, but the other things on top of that? Why do city people tolerate this kind of shit?

> the abysmal dating prospects

It really is bad, right, and not my imagination? I feel like I’ve wasted a decade of my life here on an endless string of bad first dates with no mutual attraction.

It wasn’t like that in other places I’ve lived. I mentioned this to a family member recently, and they said it’s harder because I’m getting older. That’s probably true, but I swear it’s rough in this city.

It’s a bit like buying a house here: you spend a huge amount of time, effort, and money, and end up with less than you’d get back home.

Hope NYC worked out better for you.

I found I had to put in more work to get similar results, from a place that was known to be 'easy' (in hindsight) to a place known to be hard. I found someone in about a year, and although they might not be 'the best', I do love them a lot and we have been together for a long time. Sometimes I wonder if I should've kept on dating sometimes although.

Jesus, I hope your partner doesn’t read HN.

If you’re telling everyone here, I hope your partner feels the same way, and they know you feel this way.

If not, I hope you can get over your FOMO, or just keep searching for this imaginary ‘best’ partner that may or may not exist.

> they might not be 'the best'

The pursuit of the "the best" is one of the most toxic parts of Bay area culture. In want of the "the best" I've seen people double/triple book themselves for events so they can flake on 2 and go to the one they want in the moment. I've seen people endlessly date, permanently unsatisfied with every human they encounter (if you can have 100 dates in 2 yrs and no one lives up to your standards, high probability thats more about you than them). In pursuit of "the best" people undermine eachother at work, and fail to keep their words. On and on it goes.

> I feel like I’ve wasted a decade of my life here on an endless string of bad first dates with no mutual attraction.

This was a top3 for leaving. I realized that in the same way my politics are not welcome in the company I work for, so I just disengaged, the politics of SF made me an unwelcome, unwanted form of "diversity". So I left, along with all my tax burden, cultural contributions, and normally positive nature.

Wow that's something. And I thought I had the best story for getting my roof rack stolen from off my car.

It wasn't particularly bitter – just, wtf. Bitter was when I was bedridden because of a flu, and when I finally had energy to go out to get some food, my bike got stolen in the 10 minutes I was in the grocery store. It was a miserable trip back home.

License plate got stolen from my car. Didn't touch the car otherwise. It didn't fall off because the front one was also missing. Immediately went to the police dept which took almost half a day to file a report. Utterly dysfunctional. Then a week's worth of crap from DMV to get a new license plate.

Quite the 10 years. Hope you're happier in NYC.

Not sure being stabbed would leave anyone “fine”. The traumatic memories can last for years.

Agreed - I was being flippant.

I still have nightmares about the time I woke up on a Saturday morning to the sounds of a disturbed and dying woman screaming after she doused herself in gasoline and lit herself on fire at Dorland and Guerrero.

Some of the screams were from people who had tried to help her and ended up injuring themselves.

https://missionlocal.org/2012/07/apparent-attempted-suicide-...

It probably depends.

When I was a (fairly reckless) teenager, I got into a fight and got "stabbed" in my side (minor wound). Honestly, it's not something I consider as traumatic.

It _was_ an effective way to stop the fight though.

I have dogs and love dogs. Play really rough with mine, let her chew on me. I got bit (tooth punctured, not just scratched) by a small white dog. It made me nervous around small dogs for a solid year.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com