> My life has been filled with setbacks and I'm currently in my 20s.
Hey friend. My life has been full of setbacks too, and I'm currently in my 50s... No formal IT training and yet somehow I've managed to keep muddling through and I've been making a reasonable living at this for over half my adult life now. So can you, most likely, as long as you keep plugging away at it.
I'm writing from an EU perspective, have moved countries myself at least a couple of times, and I'm still not fluent in any language other than English - though my German is now reasonably passable.
One thing that's really surprised me, especially post-Covid, is the number of jobs that are not listed as remote-only, but can be nudged that way if you have the skills they want and you insist it is the only option. I've had plenty of conversations with UK recruiters who keep scraping old versions of my CV off job boards, who initially say a role is at least partially office based, but when I tell them I'm very happy in the continental city of my choice and not willing to move for any money, they can magically be willing to at least propose the idea to the client. If it's a salaried position, their biggest fear is getting the tax and legal stuff right, but all that can be easily outsourced across borders these days - sometimes you need to tell them yourself that an "Employer of Record" service is the thing they are looking for, and be willing to accept that they may then offer you around 5-6k EUR lower salary to cover the fees involved. But hey, a job's a job and the cost of living in most European cities is lower than in London.
You could try bootcamps, there are some reputable ones out there depending on where you are, look especially for those who actively help you to find roles at the end of the course and have good reputation/relationships with employers nearby. A friend of mine had been out of work for quite some time, and managed to get the local social security/unemployment office to fund half the tuition fees, with the rest paid in instalments only after starting to earn. Both the course, and some of the available jobs at the end, were available fully remote. She ended up with several job offers at the end of the course - with absolutely zero experience of software development three months prior - and is now working happily in a mostly-remote position.
That's one way to build up a portfolio, if you don't already have one; another is to build a few websites/apps/whatever either cheap or free for whatever "real" clients you can find. Whatever church communities, music societies, sports clubs, political action groups etc you may be interested in, they are usually grateful for anyone to put themselves forward and build something. Likewise anyone you know with a small business but not much money to spend hiring more experienced developers. At one point I built a couple of political websites for a friend of a friend, who had founded his own local "independent" party and ended up running for city mayor. Paid me only a few hundred but it got me recognition in what was then a foreign language and culture, plus added a few personal connections that opened some more doors.
When you're just starting out and don't yet have any professional experience, sure it's going to be tough, especially looking for that full-remote-flexible-hours unicorn job that normally only an experienced freelancer can demand, and still needs to be a good salesman as well as developer. But tough is not the same as impossible. With persistence, determination and chutzpah you have a greater chance of getting to where you want to be. In the short term, that may however require compromise. It may be that the better way to support your wife and child is to prioritise financial stability over your own availability for shared childcare. But only you and your family can decide that together depending on the circumstances.
Edit: also, take a look at the We Are Developers job board [0]. They seem to be quite big in the DACH region (Germany, Austria, Switzerland) but cover at least all of EU. Plenty of remote-only filters available for different countries/regions.
[0] https://www.wearedevelopers.com/