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Comment by wing-_-nuts | Hacker News Reader

>From this perspective, it's a lot easier to just pack it in, write off the boss and company, and find a new job. It's less satisfying, to be sure, but less terrifying.

This exactly. I've tried having 'difficult' conversations with my boss only to wind up on their bad list.

Thankfully I'm at a company with a strong culture now and I'm much more financially independent than when I was younger.

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For way too many (bad) managers, deliberately initiating a 1:1 with them can feel like calling the police in the USA. You have to really consider your options, because you have no idea what the police are going to do. They might be cool, or they might shoot your dog. They might arrest the wrong person, or they might even ignore the call. They might get pissed at you and start harassing you every time they're in your neighborhood. Obviously with your manager, nobody is going to get shot, but I've had bosses that were so unpredictable that you wouldn't voluntarily risk talking to them, because who knows how you might come out of the conversation: Your problem might end up worse, you might end up with more (or less) job responsibilities, you might get on their "bad list" (or even their "good list"), you might get fired. You never know ahead of time.

If you feel like that for your boss, that's reason enough to leave already.

Oh man, I had one whose mood was based on the stock market. When the market was up, have a 1:1 with him, as he'd praise you, give you a little time off, maybe even a little bonus just because. When the market was down, he was on the warpath and nothing you did was good enough. I got fired on the day of a particularly steep NASDAQ drop.

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