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I'm not telling him to go scare his kids. I'm pointing out some possible self-deceit.

"I did it for them!".. sure, why not? but my point is that first and foremost he's making those choices for himself; which is pefrectly fine. what's not fine (IMO) is to pretend such choices aren't selfish.

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Who gives you the authority to judge the morality and motivations behind this person's actions?

I have de-subscribed from authority.

I speak from my own experience, if it helps it helps, if it doesn't just leave it. maybe it wasn't meant for you

These things aren’t binary. They aren’t simply this or that. Both can be true or neither or some combination.

Your claim of selfishness seems to be unwarranted (and perhaps a little mean spirited), how can you possibly tell?

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