You are telling on yourself a little here.
"I feel" / "maybe we should" are not weasel words, they are phrases to start a conversation with an acknowledgement that you're not perfect
"effusive praise for pedestrian situations" what does this even mean, different people speak more emphatically about things
"don't get me started on emojis" why not?
you're not saying anything hateful or whatever, but idk, if you were having this conversation with me in real life, I would come away with the impression that you do not take women very seriously