The 12-pack-in-a-weekend part makes me think you’ve got a problematic relationship with alcohol. You might start with an examination of why you’d choose to do that on a particular weekend instead of something else. I spent a decade ramping up to about 5 beers a day, and it initially had a lot to do with anxiety and feeling trapped in a life that wasn’t fulfilling to me. Even after I addressed those things aggressively, the drinking remained. I failed to control it every day. Only until I could visibly see the effects it was having on my body was I able to quit. I quit because of vanity!

It is hard to offer universally good advice on this, but because I personally can’t drink moderately, maintaining an intentional and holistic relationship with myself is the way I’m able to stay off it. I try to remember that regular life as a goldmine far more rewarding than alcohol.

Last thing: self-hatred and alcoholism go hand-in-hand, so find ways to treat yourself well, whether you drank too much or not.

Good luck :)