Anyone here did the same? Do you miss MeetUps, conferences or many like-minded people? If so, how do you make up for it?
In short, I have access to a much greater percentage of things that I enjoy on a consistent basis and net fewer chronic sources of unhappiness. It's fantastic.
People from where I used to live trip over themselves to mention the cost of living increase which is definitely a thing (as far as housing is concerned) but as with many things in this life you definitely get what you pay for. Your mileage may vary; if you're single and have hobbies then the whole city vs. country debate is a no-brainer. If you have a family then the preference would probably shift to more rural living for reasons obvious.
> I can walk to the airport to catch a flight
How are these two statements both true?
I lived in the city for 12 years when I didn’t have any serious attachments, loved it, walked everywhere.
I wouldn’t say I grew out of it, but when I got married and had kids, the suburbs became really appealing, just for the extra space and closeness to rural / outdoor amenities. Having had a rural upbringing, this was the closest I could get to it, and at least give the kids some ability to roam without supervision, like those of us who grew up pre-90s had.
I could totally see myself move back to an apartment or townhouse when the kids are gone though.
No noise would be my biggest incentive to move to middle of nowhere.
Overall, meeting people that are like minded doesn’t really exist. If I start talking about tech or start ups people start crossing their eyes after a few seconds. Most people like to drink do drugs and hunt and fish. Or, they are pretty religious. You do not have the options to go to cultural events like you would in the city or if you do you will see the same people over and over. The food is absolutely awful and overpriced. It’s also a real pain to travel - time and increased cost.
The only way to stay sane living here is to leave for months at a time. And the only reason it’s nice to come back is because of the outdoor activities like skiing mountain biking river rafting hunting etc.
Also, and this is very important, because many people are not worldly or do not think or do activities outside their small boxes, it is very very unlikely you will find companionship romantically.
So overall, if you are used to cities and enjoy the company of those who are educated, I would not at all recommend moving to rural area. Where I am we have one of the highest suicide rates per capita in the US.
In colorado as well. And living in the mountains is just brutally cold.
I love it. I have a big house for the price of a three bedroom apartment. Its very calm and no worries of the rising criminality that is soaring my country due to high immigration. I have a fucking pool and a sauna. 1gbit/s fiber connection like anywhere in Sweden.
I can still bike to the small cozy town and go to local bars and drink beer etc. I wouldn't want to go to the large town anyway since it's too many hostiles there.
I can take walks when I work remotely with my dogs, I can run in the forest. I can breathe good air quality and grow my own stuff in my large garden.
To answer your questions, no I don't miss the city life. Not the slightest. If anything I loathe it more and more for every year that passes. I didn't go to meetups or similar events that often anyway and I talk to more people now than when I lived in Stockholm. People in larger cities don't really speak to one another. I kind of hate modernity though even if I grew up in the capital. I think there are lots of issues with the modern city life so it's not for me. I have a hard time understanding why people want to live there. If I really want to go to an event, it's not like I can't travel for the occasion.
I live on a farm close to Ithaca, NY which doesn't have the hottest tech job market but it has a major university, a startup accelerator (which hosts meetups), and quite a few smaller tech employers.
I also am close enough to New York City that I can hop on a bus early in the morning, attend some business meetings, catch a bus home and sleep in my own bed. Going to conferences or meetups in the city is a bit of a hassle but it's perfectly possible to do from time to time.
Ithica seems like a bit more extreme version of that, but with a much larger city near by as well.
There can be significant hostility and jealousy once they learn you're an overpaid techie city slicker. When socializing I've found there's an ongoing source of friction whenever it comes to conversations involving employment opportunities or money/expenses.
It gets old when stuff like mentioning some employment options with the neighbor you occasionally have beers with, is met with them just bitching about never having had such opportunities. That evolves into something like folks viewing you as rich, privileged, and living the easy life where six-figure jobs fall from the sky. Plus you'll surely receive a good bit of blame for any increasing area prices/gentrification.
But it also got old to hear nothing but talk of funding rounds, term sheets, vesting schedules, peppered with whatever tech buzzword salad of the month, whenever I frequented cafes in the SF bay area. It should be noted though that practically anyone I interacted with there would have been able to speak casually about which FAANG is the least evil employer without risk of animosity, even the barristas.
Another thing to consider when rural is because of the low population size/density, it doesn't take very many offended locals to become effectively isolated. And in my experience rural locals aren't exactly the most sophisticated or nuanced when it comes to understanding one another.
YMMV
I’m not here in the city to meet up with likeminded people and go to conferences. I’m here as a matter of off-work personal lifestyle.
Living in a rural or suburban community usually means living in a place without walkability. It means being doomed to long car rides to perform simple daily errands. Our family’s single car sits in the garage all week while we walk and use transit to get around. It’s healthier and happier.
Living in a rural area means worse access to education and healthcare. In the city I have massive amounts school choice for my kids, both public and private.
In addition, there’s more diversity of thought and backgrounds to expose my children to within a city rather than a being an isolated monoculture.
I think a lot of people assumed cities would get worse after the pandemic, but I only see them getting better. The rush hour crush of office commuters is much more manageable now, and the trend in American city areas continues to head toward more livability and residential development over 9-5 Office oriented development.
Yes, I am remote, so I can live anywhere. I don’t have to suffer in a tiny condo, I could take my tech industry salary and own a rural mansion instead. I’m just not sure what I tangibly get out of that besides extra space to store a bunch of excess consumer goods.
While the places I lived were nice, they were super boring and I felt so complacent. Not many people had any aspirations, it was so hard to find people to talk ideas with or hack on stuff. Colleagues were cool, but weren't really that into doing anything extra.
I'm looking forward to living in the bay area, especially so close to SF. From my few visits there thus far all I see are tons of office spaces with familiar company names, every cafe is busy with people on their laptops and some are coding, loads of meetups. I hope I can "launch" my career again being over here.
Every day once I close my work laptop, I do some me things and then get back on my personal laptop later to learn something new and build out some weird app idea. A few days ago I was curious about XMPP and comparing it to other protocols like Matrix, and managed to set up and deploy ejabberd, and then connected to it from a flutter app. For me it was a fun experience, figuring out the configuration options, setting up my debian box and nginx configs.. I wish I had a friend or few with whom I could just talk tech and stuff that interests me, and in turn be there for them.
That is my goal - find some good friends and either build something together or work at an early small startup.
If you're in SF and want to be friends, hit me up! My email is in my profile.
Being an (extreme?) introvert with family responsibilities, I never had significant engagement with Meetups or conferences, or a particular need for like-minded people: I'm not much of a joiner.
Things to consider: - Cellphone service can be very carrier-dependent and will likely have large known dead spots. - Internet can be surprisingly good with many areas investing in fiber - Restaurant choice is greatly reduced, especially foreign cuisines. - Stores close early. - Deliveries take longer. Overnight shipping from NYC is actually 2-day shipping. - Cost of living may not be cheaper. Remember that you'll need a car and will be driving it more often. - If you're buying a house, you'll find that there's probably a decent amount of unexpected expenses. You'll likely be buying a fair amount of tools, including a lawnmower or potentially a tractor. - Many places are experiencing shortages for contractors of all kinds. Expect to have to call around and potentially wait a while for professional fixes. I know contractors that are currently booked for the next 3 years - I do know all my neighbors, which I couldn't say for any of the apartments
- Internet is absolute shit. They don't have wires that get to them, so all their solutions have a ton of latency (and often there is only one company). Apparently the Starlink thing is being a huge help, but still latency is an issue. It is very annoying when it comes to meetings. These guys got exceptions to go to the office during the whole pandemic due to this issue specifically.
- Airplane routing. When you live near a major airport or even in a "hub city" traveling is always easier. When you live in a rural location you may need a 2 hour drive to the airport, a first flight to take you to a hub airport, then a second flight to take you to your destination. Traveling is highly inconvenient. It's almost impossible to to some city and back in the same day.
It all depends on what you want in life.
I'm in my 20s and I love to live here, it's really quite, relaxing and if I ever want to go to the city (small city, mind you), it's just 15 mins away by car. If I want to go to a bigger city, it's around 2 to 3 hours away, which I tend to do once a month or every two months to visit my team.
A few things to note is that I have to have a car here, there's no metro and the bus system is pretty lacking.
- better networking cuz you know your coworkers better and maybe conferences when onsite
- women do move from here to bigger cities due to... jobs? edu? I guess
If you're in a similar situation I think you'll do a lot better in a bigger city, even though you may not think you need those things for the time being. Eventually you will.
It is so restful & distraction free, with the benefit many favorite escapes nearby.
I live in a tiny university town, outside my surrounding trees. So there is a lot to do socially, outdoors activities (camping, horse riding, …), and lots of fun bright people around.
I love it enough that I putting down roots.
So, I have no real clue what I’m missing. Coding meetups at pubs? I miss conferences but I can drive a couple hours to the metro if I wanted to attend badly enough.
I do feel FOMO sometimes but I also think I idealize a lot of what I’m missing out on. I saw no real improvement moving closer or further to people. I think its all about reaching out and making connections. I imagine that’s easier in a tech hub… but online has made it incredibly easy, imo.
The one thing that does seem to suck is that events have gone “online” which… just isn’t exciting to me. Other than that, I’m pretty introverted and love having space/land.
I wouldn't mind going somewhere much much smaller and more rural if I didn't have kids. But, I don't want to send them to rural schools and I don't want them to grow up somewhere without opportunity. Selfishly, I want them to grow up somewhere that will give them a reason to stay when they get older, so that they stay nearby.
I do sometimes miss living in the city, but then I remember that I tend to shy away from people and like the quiet of the small town that I live in. Also I don't miss the pollution and noise.
Edit: 10k inhabitants is not badly rural, might be a good balance.
Things are different than they were in the Bay. I've adapted. I meet many like-minded folks. My interests have expanded. As they say, "When in Rome.."