I am male, and I do get what you mean, which is why I wrote "Of course, I might have just caught his good and kind side, who knows?". As a person living in Germany, with a non-German accent, I also understand that not everyone perceives everything. Any person who feels excluded from participating in the Free Software movement is a loss. The more people with more perspectives, the stronger the movement is, which is in everyone's interest.
That being said: I do agree that some of the statements made in the past were tasteless, and I am disappointed that he did so. Yet when reading his own texts like https://stallman.org/articles/necessary-changes.html, I have to either conclude that he agrees but has made mistakes or is himself lying.
Another thing might be that I have only had contact with him via Email. Perhaps he is different in person, that I cannot say.