Ask HN: Anyone else feel lonely during the remote workday?
After work is fine, I’ve got hobbies and friends and a partner. During work though, it’s rough. Just really miss those random, casual social encounters
I'm thinking about getting a spot at a coworking space just to get out of the house more during the day.
Companies that are non-remote are also more likely to have a toxic work culture.
And that also needs your colleagues to be in, which if they have a choice... they won't.
Otherwise I walk my dog or run errands in the middle of the day, just to go outside and get some exercise and see other people.
Shocker—-more of a neutral social pet
I've since switched employers and I'm in a more enthusiastic team, where my colleagues are more inclined to mingle, but everyone stays longer to make up for the lost time. Once you include the commute, I find myself giving up a lot for small social sessions.
The problem is that when you're operating in a competitive environment, it's easy to justify forgoing everything to produce impact, even if it means being lonely.
I felt the exact same way, I’ve got a partner and friends as well but unfortunately my hobbies (I produce my own conscious hip-hop and short films) mostly also consist of my spending a lot of time in my fairly large combo film/music studio / office / living space.
During COVID itself, I actually lived with a roommate - after COVID, and with some money saved up and some excellent goals in mind, I got the studio/house so I could be all to myself.
It’s awesome to live alone - less awesome to live, work, and play alone from the same space.
So, it might sound silly - but about a month or so ago, I adopted a very sweet middle-aged cat from a local adoption agency here in Toronto.
I will honestly say, her presence (her name is Lofi) has actually honestly even helped with like depression and general mental health things!
But, most importantly - I’m pretty much never feeling alone with her around. :)
When I step in the door, there’s usually a cute fuzzball greeting me; who’s likely missed me, and happy to see me; as opposed of course to an almost dauntingly large empty space.
I would really recommend adopting a middle aged cat who has had a family, though! Don’t get a kitten, you don’t need or want the equivalent of a toddler in your work space.
Might seem like it’s either obvious or just silly - but I actually have to say that Lofi has made a huge difference the last month for my well-being in general.
tl;dr - try adopting a middle aged cat. I find they are a great working companion.
It lets me have a bunch of loose acquaintances, both staff and other regulars. I also like seeing people on lunch dates and kids with the day off school and what books people are reading. A bonus is that everyone there is working on different stuff --- artists and video editors and music promoters are all there at various points, doing various things.
I used to have a membership at a coworking space, but I like this better, and in the end it costs about the same.
Nothing else has been able to meet my basic social needs, and it's honestly making me depressed. Yes, I've tried working in cafes, libraries, outdoors, trying out meetups, etc. They all sucked.
So, I always go to coffee shops, libraries, coworking, bars, to get some work done.
I work a few hours home at most, not enough for me to feel lonely
And, so, thinking about what are the actual reasons I don't want to return to the office
I think it might just be the drive -- which, by definition almost, would be a long-ish slog.
A thirty minute drive for 30 minutes or less each way might not be the end of the world.
But that starts changing rapidly as that number goes up, is 5 days instead of 4, etc.
A ten or fifteen minute bike ride, tho?
Sign me up!
If I wanted to sit in front of a screen all day I'd buy a $100k house in the middle of nowhere and play World of Warcraft.
In cases where attendance is optional you’ll likely be coming to an empty office most of the time.
In cases where attendance is required on specific days you’ll find it chaos as people rush to cram all their “office” tasks (meetings, etc) of the week into that one day so there’s little potential for enjoyable interactions when everyone is running around.