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If I send a URL directly it will be hit from my phone. Big difference there.

That is not true.

Messages on my iPhone shows me link previews for links sent to me via SMS, not just via iMessage. I just checked to make sure. Those are necessarily generated on the recipient's end.

They could still be doing that through an Apple hosted proxy though? I believe services like discord and gmail webclient do that for links to not leak IPs.

Is it really better for SMS content to be sent to a server to achieve that? I like my SMS content to only be known to my telecom provider and my device.

Are you sure it auto expands the preview of a link without any user interaction? https://www.tatango.com/blog/ios-10-what-sms-marketers-need-...

This could be due to it being sent from someone in your contact list: https://support.twilio.com/hc/en-us/articles/360013199334-Ho...

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