I’m on the spectrum and it sounds like you might be too. Often people find me blunt or abrasive. I used to worry about it and tried to meter myself for years but the only thing it got me was stress and I wasn’t being my authentic self. My best advice, be your authentic self. If that is abrasive to some, we’ll then so be it. I’d rather be abrasive than fake and waste time. If someone takes something astute as hurtful or demeaning then maybe you’re trying to run with the wrong crowd.