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For the record, I like this one better.

Whatever resume gets me the best job is my favorite.

You only need one good one.

What kind of job are you looking for, would make you happy?

Yeah...cmdrtaco should write the job description he seeks, not the resume! His resume is the worldwide community of nerds he has helped grow ...

Dear Mr Taco,

Thank you for your recent resume. Unfortunately, we have no openings for any experienced slashdot.org's at this time.

We shall keep your resume on file and will contact you should an opening arise.

Yours sincerely,

JP Doctor

This is gold. Remove the references line, and you're hired instantly.

It's to weed out employers that have to ask for references!

Right, but the references line is implied. It's part of the process.

Dexter? Why didn't I know that? A2 here, but Hi5.

I think this one is almost more effective. Maybe a mix between the two.

This looks more like a gravestone.