If men are raised and "socialized" that they are the rightful leader of the family, and it's not only okay but right to hit their wives, we hold them personally responsible for their actions.
If women are raised and "socialized" not to negotiate, we blame society. Because… women aren't smart enough, or whole humans enough, to do anything but what they're told?
Ladies, take control of your own destiny, or be a victim of your own making. It's your choice.
When a large group of men all beat their wives because they were raised to think it's right, we start looking at just why so many men are raised this way, and see this as a larger problem. This is only right.
Same deal with women and negotiating: an individual woman who's a bad negotiator is her problem, a large group of women who are all bad negotiators is a problem with society.
Note that the two ideas are not mutually exclusive. In the cases of large groups with a problem, we can and generally do place blame both on society and on the individuals.
- Women having a lower salary isn't as visible or as visibly wrong as men hitting their wives
- Hitting one's wife is an action, while not negotiating salary (well) is a non-action
Both things are wrong, and we need to try to inhibit both on the society level (by trying to raise responsible men, and women to negotiate salaries).
Though, I'm very certain that I, as a man, also need lessons in negotiating salaries - I'm quite gullible/trusting.
The fact remains: if men do what "society" has "conditioned" them to do, we hold them personally responsible. If women do, we rush to take care of them and save them from themselves.
The moral of the story: women are delicate flowers who cannot decide for themselves, and must be protected.
Also, I have personally seen and continue to see news stories, editorials, and blog posts about social conditions for men, esp. in regards to men taking part in "traditional" female roles, such as child care, certain types of labor, and even certain kinds of hobbies.
It is deliberately misleading to say that social conditioning and social issues treat one gender one way and another gender the other way, not too mention that such a position completely erases and doesn't acknowledge the existence of those who are not cisgendered and have a different experience in regard to their social experience.
"Poor women, we can't let them do what society tells them to do!"
(ahoy is short for Amy Hoy )
"Ladies, take control of your own destiny, or be a victim of your own making."
One of the more ignorant things I've read here ever. You clearly don't understand the sociology of the issue at hand here. Do you think that women just wake up and go "Woe is me, I'm going to lay down today and take whatever I get"?
"when you blame someone else for keeping you back, you are accepting your powerlessness"
Of course, she's not acting like an ass when she says it.
That's kinda the important theme behind socially trained behaviors like this.