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Comment by pessimizer | Hacker News Reader

> without being an ass.

There's no definition of this, this is more of that don't be a dick stuff. What constitutes being a dick or an ass hinges on culture. If you're the new guy and everybody else is experienced and has worked with each other for a while, being an ass might mean opening your mouth at all. Whether you're right or not.

> rest assured that you'll find a place where your traits are appreciated

A lot of people don't appreciate the trait of pride in lacking social skills and tact or lack of awareness of one's surroundings or not understanding power structures. They'd have to worry about you saying something dumb to a client (even if you were right.)

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>pride in lacking social skills and tact or lack of awareness of one's surroundings or not understanding power structures

LOL, projecting too much I guess? I never implied any of that.

>What constitutes being a dick or an ass hinges on culture.

Nah. Or are you talking about circumstances like "I didn't knew that a handshake was offensive in this remote village"? Those things are extremely rare in business contexts, and even when they happen both parties usually laugh it off, as they both understand that the intent was not to offend.

"Don't be a dick" is hard to describe, as you cannot put a 500-page book with all the specific situations written literally, which is the kind of thing that will please people like you. But, at the same time, every single person that's at least 12 years old have a sense of "this is right" vs. "this is not right". Don't lie, don't steal, there's a place for everything, if something ain't yours don't touch, I don't know, that sort of thing.

If you don't get those things, or pretend not to get them because of some weird and extremely particular circumstances that you have to make up to justify it, well ... let's not work together then :).

They raised valid points, I don't understand all the sudden snide remarks.

Some companies are more tolerant of input and advice, others unfortunately are less so. It is not uncommon to find a workplace where the boss will tag you as a 'dick' if you 'argue too much', and blackball you, even if you asserted it politely and reasonably.

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