Ask HN: What was your big mental realization? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: What was your big mental realization?

14 pointskbrannigan15 comments

One day you woke up and made a sudden small realization that changed the way to see yourself, society & life in general.

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I realized that a source of unhappiness is expecting other people to do or say something without communicating with them first. People are not good mind readers, so you have to be clear about what you want and expect.

I wrote more about it here: https://moviewise.substack.com/p/communication-insights-from...

But the real realization is that you should not expect anything from anyone. You should be able to feel happy and satisfied no matter what other people do or don't do.

In other words, don't allow other people to control your happiness by setting yourself up to be dependent on what they say or do. It shouldn't matter to your contentment. If you can just accept things as they are and enjoy what you can without lamenting what could be, what could have been, what other people have—then you can be stronger and happier:

https://moviewise.substack.com/p/facing-lifes-difficulties

I had a similar realization, but it was a more generalized version of what you described. Unhappiness is what happens when expectations or desires don't match up with reality; if you want to be happy, learn to be content with the moment and what exists right in front of you right now.

On the other hand, one needs to dream, and hope--and that's what we should do. But leave goals and hopes for the future only, and don't hold on to failures, dwell on the past, or what could have been, or what is (whatever current reality you're discontent with).

That reading social media (including hacker news) and news is mostly addiction and is a huge waste of time because it has little relevance to your life. The mechanism is similar to gambling where most of the stuff you do find on these sites is irrelevant but once in a blue moon there's something interesting and it makes you keep coming back for more!

I do feel like I waste time with many HN stories, so I’ve been trying to be selective and only reading stories I feel I could learn something that provides direct value either to me or my current project. This is easier said than done because I’m infinitely curious and people here are good at crafting headlines.

That I'm just a device for the energy - I don't have another term and I don't want to call it God or something religious/spiritual - to keep dancing.

That's why, if I sit for too long, it makes me move. That's why, if I move for too long, it makes me sit.

Have you read The Selfish Gene?

It is not the first time I hear about that title, but I've never read the book. Is it good?

It is good.

Most people create little mental boxes to imprison themselves in.

Try more crazy things, you'd be surprised how often it can work out.

A lot of trees I walk past will outlive me.

The world is maleable.

Incentives are powerful.

Proximity is powerful. Neurons that fire together wire together. Choose wisely what’s within close proximity.

Minimizing ego improves learning efficiency.

I like these.

Can you expand on the terms the world is malleable and also what do you mean by Incentives are powerful?

It's ok to not be productive.

Life is much better when you’re good at relaxing.

It's ok to be happy.

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