Egg Boxing

Reminds me of the old Copypasta:

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 07840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

the juxtaposition of nan boxing with egg boxing on the frontpage is enjoyably confusing. what is this, boxing day?

what if you boxed two nans, in the sense of egg boxing? which nan would emerge the victor? the answer is likely nan.

what if you boxed two eggs, in the sense of nan boxing? perhaps one egg would contain a chicken, and another egg some other type of oviparous beast.

My family would play a similar game at Easter. We paint hard-boiled eggs a day or two before, then on Easter, we each pick our "fighter" and attempt to break the other person's egg. Point to point is allowed, and you have several attempts with the different sides of the egg before the bout is over.

Also see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egg_tapping - an Easter game. Thought it was an Eastern European thing but apparently it's a thing all over the world anywhere you paint eggs for Easter.

I think we're wired to do this with all sorts of things. I used to spin coins in a makeshift arena to see who would emerge as the over-all winner after multiple rounds. And I recall Lister in Red Dwarf blowing bubblegum bubbles: "ten and three quarters! Plus five for not breaking. The Browns are going to have to do something quite sensational with their last bubble..."

Interestingly, I think that in conkers the player doing the hitting is rather more likely to break the other person's conker, rather than have their's broken, unlike what he says with the eggs. I wonder if it has something to do with where the collision happens on the conker.

Playing with our food again.

We're alone in an empty universe, aren't we?

I do this with hot tamales and sugar babies. I think it’s funny that others have this form of food competition as well.