The Magic of Rituals | Hacker News Reader

The Magic of Rituals

nautil.us

85 pointsrbanffy20 comments

Back in 2018 I moved from NYC, where my commute was 45m-1hr, to Florida, where I lived across the street from a co-working space. "Finally", I thought to myself. I can finally have all this extra free time that was spent commuting.

And while it certainly is beneficial to not have a long commute, I didn't realize that I had inadvertently created a daily ritual for myself. During my train rides, I'd zone out and listen to podcasts while watching the surrounding scenery. It allowed me to decompress, focus on something else, and transition out of my work brain.

I love working remote, but I have to admit that I miss that part of my day. I've tried to do things like biking or a treadmill with earphones in, but it's not the same.

I get up for work, do the kids thing, but then I walk nearly all the way to the train station, order a coffee as if I'm headed to the office, pick it up, turn around and walk back home.

I completely agree with you. Routine is important and the first half hour of walking is usually trash, the real important thinking and debriefing happens in the 2nd half hour. I don't listen to podcasts or wear headphones anymore to get there sooner.

A lot of videogames have their value tied up in 'forcing' players to spend a few minutes (or hours) on logistics that eventually give rise to ritual, rather than just giving them a teleport button.

We're building a metaverse for knowledge workers with a default approach of "use the physics engine, not magic" when moving around objects - be they virtual robots, sticky notes or walls. Simulating the seemingly annoying, tedious, mundane logistical act of moving through space seems to have genuine benefits in terms of how you think, what rituals you undertake (big and small/collectively or individually), and who you bump into.

Maybe it's not utterly ridiculous that in the future your first few minutes clocked into a virtual environment will just be getting to your workspace. Or I could just have overly fond memories of the Half Life opening sequence https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw63pZcBJH8

This is going to sound ridiculous, but is there any kind of mass transit nearby? Buses, even? If so, are there any routes you can take that get you back home in that amount(-ish) of time?

Maybe part of what did it for you was motion and changing physical scenery. Maybe lack of control, knowing you had to ride all the way, uninterrupted, had something to do with it. Maybe it had to do with introducing strangers to your environment. And I'm sure there are more possible factors that helped you mentally decompress.

Ha, as crazy as this sounds, it’s actually a viable option. I live in a downtown area that has these free antique trolleys. I could just hop on and take a loop.

When I took my job, I was car-free, so I chose an apartment 2 blocks from my office. That has given me so many benefits, not the least of which is going home on lunch for fall-asleep naps in my own bed. However, lacking that transition time between my two worlds means my mind is neither ready to engage when I get to work, nor de-cluttered before I get home. I'm looking to move, to extend my commute.

I have noticed the same. The tyranny of commuting is that you must do it. There is no choice. But exercise is optional and requires additional will power. You won’t be physically stuck at work if you don’t work out. The tyranny can be surrender to and really helps with the change in mindset.

When I worked in the Bay Area and had a long commute, before going into the house I would leave all my worries with the 'worry tree' outside. I took a moment to decompress, and to make sure I had energy and excitement prepared so that when my kids come running shouting daddy's home, I was able to give to them the attention they craved and needed.

When my mom was dying of cancer alone and I was in prison and unable to help, even though I don't believe in magic/whatever, I told myself certain musicians playing on my MP3 (https://youtu.be/vhRk12bsggg) was the universe telling me things. Tom Petty was that is going to go a good day, Fleetwood Mac that my mom was doing to somehow be OK (thank you Tiktok for bringing Fleetwood Mac back to the radio right when I needed it), etc. Just having these outside triggers that could reset my worry/anxiety was huge and got me through the day. I took away from that that I need to build habits to break negative feedback loops I can easily get stuck in.

I also check in with myself now. Not cleaning up the kitchen after meals, not keeping my car clean, not having the energy for something simple like brushing my teeth (I know gross) are all actions I take when I am in a bad place. But with awareness, they are now signals to myself that help me know when to reach out/take action/etc.

I recently encountered this interview with Frost, the drummer behind the black metal bands 1349 and Satyricon, in which he talks about his ritual prior to going on stage. It serves to clearly delineate the two contexts from each other, and once he's crossed over, he's in the mental space he needs to perform.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JF0bOF4hgrA

I found it both chuckleworthy and relatable at the same time. Here's one of the most technically skilled drummers who plays some of the most demanding and intense drumming there is - totally out of reach for most drummers (look up some drumming videos that feature him, it's insane) - showing his human, soft side. His ritual is yoga and putting on the corpsepaint. I like to imagine him putting on the corpsepaint first, then the yoga pants, then putting on an Enya playlist, etc.

When I am feeling anxious, I say a little wish out to the world. I wish that those who are suffering find the burden lifted. And I imagine that there are those who are wishing the same for me.

One of my favorite rituals to watch is certain basketball players shooting technical free throws. Normally with a free throw other players from both teams line the key, and after each free throw they’ll slap hands with their teammates after the shot. For a technical free throw there are no other players lining the key and some players will lean in and slap imaginary hands just to keep the ritual the same.

I don't think that I've heard giving a five referred to as "slap hands" before, but I'm definitely going to start saying this!

What GP is talking about isn't always a high five, so slap hands is a better phrase. See here for example: https://youtu.be/T9chSovkDkA?t=34

> giving a five

I've never heard it said this way. Or "slap hands". It's always "high five".

If it's delivered at waist level, how is it high?

Also heard my 17 yo nephew call a fist bump a 'knuck touch' which I loved and I am trying to repeat.

I have my daily rituals every morning, consumes almost 3 hours of my day but everything has a purpose - or so I’d like to think. The only way I’ve found to manage the anxiety from being a working parent with two little ones at home and a stressful tech job.

I'm not a parent (yet), but I'm the same way. I like to get up early and have a few hours to myself. A good portion of that time is spent on relatively-aimless puttering around — reading, journaling, etc — as well as a solid 45-90 minutes on working out.

I experimented with skipping all this during the pandemic (and working out in the afternoon instead), but I noticed my days felt much more unsatisfying without those morning hours.

A friend of mine mentioned he rolls out of bed at 8, and he's in the office and working by 9. I have no idea how he does it.

This resonates. It’s hard to be wound up/worn down by work and maintain an “A” game as a parent.

I was getting snappy at home, especially early in pandemic, and then I realized if I worked out hard for an hour in the morning I would be much more in control of my reaction.

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