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Comment by gonzo41 | Hacker News Reader

This person needs to consider mindfulness meditation.

It almost seems like they are assuming some catastrophe is around every corner.

If your boss says "hey got a moment to chat" you have a choice in how you react to the information. Assume they want to just chat and engage, or freak out and think the world is ending. Both options are possible, one has a nicer outcome. It's important to remember and remind yourself that you have control about how you feel about things.

I know I do work. I can justify my time, If my boss pulls me aside and redirects my work. That's totally fine, I work for them.

But generally, meetings invites and messages should contain lots of info and context. Chatting with your boss shouldn't be scary, if it is, maybe consider a new boss.

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maybe the boss can meditate on sending more productive messages instead.

why does everything have to be a fault within me?

They should, but you're the only one you can control your responses.

Because it's easier to fix yourself than fixing everyone else.

It would be nice if everyone added context to messages. Unfortunately, a lot of people just don't do that, and it's going to be very hard to convince them to change their behavior.

It's probably easier to work on your anxiety instead.

I'm speaking as someone who also suffers from this type of anxiety occasionally. I find that it helps to tell myself that I'm just being unnecessarily anxious, and that makes it easier to deal with.

The fact that it's possible to personally work around generic problem is nice but it doesn't mean that it's the optimal point to solve the problem. That's why it's also important to ask other to avoid to uselessly make other people life more stressful than it should be.

Every body can wear an armoured suit but it's more efficient to not give guns to everybody.

The boss doesn't have the problem with their behavior. It's easier to change how you react to something than to change others.

I'm not excusing the behavior, it's just one solution is a lot easier to achieve.

Why do I have to wear a seatbelt when I drive safely?

over communicating is a sign of weakness

you work for them, you adapt to them

I must admit freaking out one morning, having stumbled into work hungover and tired, when my team lead grabbed me on my way in and said "Can we have a word?" and pulled me into a meeting room where the product owner and two levels of management were sitting.

Thankfully they were wanting to ask if I'd like to spend a month training in California!

While I think meditation is interesting and important for a number of reasons, I wouldn't try to solve every problem with "try meditating". It's unfair.

Or a little bit of reading about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, there is a good book called "CBT for dummies" or something like that. Mindfulness as a tool will train you to observe what happens inside your head and then apply CBT techniques.

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