I can't quite put my finger on what felt wrong to me. I think it was partly the verbosity, but in the end I talked myself in to being annoyed at having to get to the end which was never going to help.

As for Nutshell, it looks like exactly the type of story I'd love to enjoy. I'm going to pick it up, then move on to kevmarsden and teh_klev's tips if it pans out.

Thanks peeps!