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Comment by chickenimprint | Hacker News Reader

I found those stories of "enlightened hospitality" creepy and presumptuous. Don't eavesdrop on my conversations and respect my choices. Are you suggesting my opinions on expensive wine are sour grapes? I didn't want wine or salad. God, I'm happy I don't live in a country where waiters are forced to be a hyper-social adult circus clown to compete for tips.

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There’s an article [1] from Ricky Gervais where he compares British and US culture/humor.

At the end he says:

> ‘for the record I’d rather a waiter say, “Have a nice day” and not mean it, than ignore me and mean it.‘

[1] https://time.com/3720218/difference-between-american-british...

If you see restaurants as a place to get food, then you're right. If you visit a place to have a remarkable experience, you might enjoy this kind of attention.

Not saying either perspective is wrong. Just that there's some nuance.

I legitimately wonder how much of the restaurant culture in the US comes from the fact you can't just go to a brothel or a BDSM dungeon to get your "remarkable experience" outside of Nevada

I live in Berlin and I’m not from the USA. I prefer restaurants with this “US hospitality” or something close. Sadly, lots of people in this city seem to pride themselves in “kind not nice”. There is nothing that says both can’t exist :shrug:

Berlin has both. Must be something else. https://guide.michelin.com/us/en/berlin-region/berlin/restau...

Are being fed a wonderful meal and engaging in sexualized power play interchangeable experience for you?

No, but the treatment I get in Italy vs. in North America is very different, and the utter subservience the North American restaurant culture seems to require reminds me more of powerplays than of focus on food.

Also, Hooters originated in the US. Make of that what you will

The exact opposite feeling here. The indifference and often not particularly great service in europe is dissappointing and can easily mar an evening.

Good service in North America heightens the whole dinner experience.

Incentives are everything.

I agree, incentives are everything. That's why I don't want every restaurant to turn into classy hooters—yes, tipping strongly selects for attractive people, especially young women. It's so hard to shake the feeling of insincerity, for the very reason that I'm aware of the incentives. Are we all so lacking in affection we need people to butter us up for money?

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