could you believe that "crying gets me attention, so I'll cry every time" might also be an unhealthy long term feedback loop?
But we're talking about infants here. I seriously doubt that infants are crying because they want to be entertained (as implied by "crying gets me attention") - I think that they cry because they are f-cking scared. Yes, they want attention - the same way that a person stuck in a dark alleyway with a gang of thugs wants the attention of a police officer.
Or am I missing something here?
But getting attention from their parents is one of the areas they are very advanced!
Of course they are good at getting attention, but that's because they need attention. That's why nature gave them the ability to cry surprisingly loud from the moment they're born.
PS. I don’t want to imply your kids where not able to do such things. It would be a rare behavior though. PPS. Father of at least one
Children are smart enough to understand sentences like "This is really not something to get upset about", AFTER they have calmed down, and explained in a loving matter.
They aren't necessity trying to manipulate you but they are constantly experimenting and if certain behaviors get them what they want they will continue to do them.
I am fairly doubtful that infants can want things that they don't need. If infants cry, it's because they feel pain - I don't see any other explanation, and projecting adult traits (such as wanting things they don't need) onto infants doesn't really make sense to me. Of course they "want" their parent's attention. They're infants, they probably feel pain when their parents are not around.
Of course, there is a period around ~2 years old when babies start experimenting with crossing the lines to see what they can and cannot get away with. But at age, they aren't infants anymore.