It's not going to be any better, but if you'd like to spend $20k on a phone, Vertu still seems to be around peddling crocodile skin phones encrusted with diamonds etc.

https://www.vertu.com/collections/aster-p

The gullwing titanium SIM card slots are straight out of Silicon Valley. There's even a Gavin Belson-worthy signature!

https://www.vertu.com/products/aster-p-ti-black-rococo-himal...

And tying neatly back to the original article, it seems these things are running a 2017-vintage fork of Android 8.1 called "Luxury OS".