> And if you count the energy needed to grow the food, even gas cars are more efficient than humans. And that's even if you only count the payload and not the weight of the vehicle.
It's a lot more complicated than that. A certain baseline is eaten anyway for nutrition, and some foods have too many calories per unit of other nutrients for sedantry life. Maize for example can provide a decent chunk of your protein (with some pulses to round out the amino acids) and some other nutrients, but you need to be active for an hour or two per day to not get sick from the quantity of carbohydrates that entails. There's also a minimum activity level that is best for health that many people do not reach (so the calories between current activity and that threshold have a negative cost).
If we take wheat or oats as a fuel, the CO2e footprint is roughly the same ballpark as the mass of food (or less if they are grown in certain niche ways which are high labour or use green ammonia for fertilizer reagent and electric tractors).
100g of either will get you 15-20km at a calm pace. This is ballpark 5-15g/km or roughly on par with electric trains.
You need to fill an EV with people every trip to match the upper bound here (including embodied carbon). Including infrastructure makes the bike a winner. Electric busses might still place if full. ICEs are out of the running.
If your fuel is exclusively beef protein though then better to use the deisel truck or just go set fire to a forest or something.
The optimal is a solar charged recumbent pedelec because it uses sunlight so much more efficiently than plants do. Something with just enough motor to keep you going at 25km/h on a mild 2% incline with the same power from the rider as walking, just enough battery to last one trip (about what a laptop holds, or double that to decrease discharge % and increase durability) and just enough solar to charge while parked. You can increase speed/distance to around 40 km/h at roughly constant emissions by adding a fairing.
After that is a ferry full of people.
Then a train/regular bike.
If you need to go extremely fast/far only trains work for large quantities of people, and the ones for whom coverage is prohibitive are best with cars.