Hacker News Reader

My dog poops as though he requires 5 legs, an extra one to hold a gun at all angles to make sure nobody attacks him while he does his business.

Concur, my dogs stance always struck me as a "I'm vulnerable as h*ck while doing my biz".

That's why your dog watches you while pooping. They're vulnerable, you're able-bodied and will spot danger first, so they take danger cues off you.