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:-)

But since this is HN:

I'd die in captivity if this was me. Others would get out right away.

From the "Falsehoods Programmers Believe About Grandparents"[1]:

- People have grandmothers

[...]

- Grandmothers aren't technically competent

[1]: I made this up here and now.

I assume the headquarters would be in an appropriate place such as Columbia, right ?

do you mean Colombia ?

You win the best comment for today :)