Comment by nightlyhawk | Hacker News Reader

Comment by nightlyhawk | Hacker News Reader

It's crazy how detrimental dating apps like Hinge has been for my mental health these last 6-8 months. I'm relatively pretty good-looking as an early 20s male and I've been on multiple dates but women always have the opportunity to "find someone better". I haven't been able to find a serious partner at all and I might be due to how long I have been out of the dating game but all this liking and swiping makes me so self-conscious and insecure.

I've also started balding since I was 20 and it puts that much more pressure on me to find someone through these apps. It's so unhealthy but I don't know what to do anymore. Male pattern baldness is a horrible disease especially since it is genetic and not something that can necessarily be stopped, just slowed down by medications that aren't even effective for me, lol. I hate to think like this but it makes me mad that there are unhealthy and overweight individuals out there with great genetics and I'm just sitting here losing my hair at an unfair age even though I'm very health-conscious and fit.

I know for a fact I will have no luck with dating apps if I shave my head and go bald in my early 20s and I might as well give up now. At least when I know that when I go bald by 25 or 26, I can at least delete the apps and maybe I will feel relieved?(probably not)

I gave up dating entirely in my early 20s, before dating apps were a thing. It was nothing short of a great decision. For me the juice isn't worth the squeeze, but a lot of people want it much more than I do, and they end up bitter if they take this path. Solitude isn't easy but it's amazing when you can appreciate it.

I was diagnosed with alopecia universalis at 25, lost all hair, it's also a genetic thing. Balding sucks. I can guarantee there are women out there that will not care about your hair or lack thereof.

>I know for a fact I will have no luck with dating apps if I shave my head and go bald in my early 20s and I might as well give up now.

Please don't give up in general, but please give up with apps. It's obviously doing your head in.

If you just read the comments in this thread, the general consensus is that they (apps) don't work for the majority or they don't work for HN'rs.

If you profiled the HN community, you'd probably won't be surprised we're (on average) not that good looking. We hack too much code, we're generally overweight (well there are some here that are REALLY into fitness), some have crazy or no hair, some have way too big ears, or even too many heads (zaphod beeblebrox).

But a lot of us have SO's. wtf? How can that be?

Think about this. Everyone on TV is so bloody good looking with shiny teeth and great hair. How can we (HN'rs) compete with that?

Answer: A lot of people out there are boring as fuck and don't know anything of the world. They talk about sports, how crap their job is, the problems with their front lawn and about owning the other political party. That's it. Yawn.

We're reading about some cool nuclear reactor type or how to bake bread, or reading about some benedictine monk seeing strange lightning.

We generally still love to learn about cool stuff and can generally have a good conversation with above average IQ people. We can see the funny side of life and often are quite funny (which is very attractive to potentials).

TLDR: Don't knock yourself down too much. We all have strange things going on and still get by. There's lots of good looking people that are SUPER dull.

One could say we might even have an advantage! ;-)

Shave your head, hit the gym. Make some money, develop interesting hobbies. Go travel. You will be fine dude.

It sounds like you, and your mindset, are your own worst enemy right now.

This is good advice. You don't need to attract every woman. Instead, be best person you can be in order to find one that loves your head as it is. There are women who prefer a bald head but not many who will find insecurity attractive.

You will be pleasantly surprised when you discover how sexy a shiny dome can be.

Lol. How can you not find Captain Jean-Luc Picard [0] attractive!? (Irrespective of what team you play on)

[0] https://imagecdn.handitv.com/KDqbG-1644609552-816-blog-picar...

lol I appreciate all the encouraging words guys, thank you

None of the younger balding guys I know have any problems in the dating department. They shave it before they end up with nothing but tufts on the sides, and they own it.

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