I'm sorry that you feel you haven't found your tribe. I get it and feel/felt similarly at times.
> I don't think that would be considered "hacker" by any definition of the word (I think the word is "corporate")
Tempered passion != corporate.
> You don't have to be excited and bullish about every single new trend, but at least be interested enough to take a closer look
No, I don't owe trends anything. It's easy to trend, and much harder to deliver value over time. I wait for the wheat to separate from the chaff before investing time. This is not pessimism, this is triage of emotions and attention. It isn't a belief that what we have is best, but rather a preference to be doing the work as much as possible. Time, unfortunately, is zero sum.
I have stopped chasing relevance, and in doing so, found contentment and focus. I'll reiterate: the self-work I do is my current manifestation of the hacker ethos.
I am excited by PL stuff: Rust, Haskell, compilers, LLVM, etc. I write Rust and Haskell at work, so I scratch a lot of that itch on the job. It took a long time to get to that point. I still have too many tabs open on my computers about cool PL stuff like the u-combinator, GC implementations, cache friendliness, and other low-level esoterica.
Yet, life is much better when tech is a part of it, not the centerpiece of identity. Perhaps that is the main difference that is surfacing here.