If you enjoy something it is not wasted time. Listening to speakers like this and engaging in communities like this can cause negative feedback loops. Don't be frustrated about it. Just realized you are normal and a human being with your own unique circumstances. Don't judge yourself based on the backgrounds and privileges of others. If you have an interest in something meet new people and see if you can explore interests together. Sadly our current world doesn't allow for people to be able to do this outside exclusive groups. To say the least don't feel down about your situation. If you weren't part of these groups originally the likelyhood of you joining them is low. We as humans naturally tend to exclude newcomers.