Just popping in to say that psilocybin shrooms + therapy permanently changed my life for the better and I STRONGLY recommend it to pretty much everyone if their therapist specializes in that kind of thing
Desperate.
It's searchable (tho not well) and you can apparently set up email alerts for new trials. Hope it helps!
https://www.australianclinicaltrials.gov.au/anzctr_feed/form
I ate 4.5g and laid on my couch with a notebook and relaxing music on. I had a list of issues that I needed to work through (obtained through the therapy), and I just sat there and ruminated on it for 6-7 hrs. It was difficult, but cathartic.
I noted my thoughts/conclusions and discussed the whole thing with my therapist afterwards, and while I can't say my depression is cured, it's much much MUCH better.
Maybe there's someone who does psilocybin research in your area? Or, remote to another area? While I'm sure literally having your therapist right there is very effective, I'm of the opinion that therapy + shrooms in general is really effective too.
Some people, for whatever reason, are just unable to separate themselves from the experience or accept what is happening without extreme stress. It's almost like classic psychedelics act more like disassociatives for them.
manic symptoms vs. depressive symptoms can definitely be linked to strain, and the balance of constituent psychoactives...of which there are plenty. ask a reputable bud tender for sleepy weed and i wager your experience might be more pleasant.
If we’re works for you, great. If it doesn’t, something else will.