Let’s Not Have a Beer

> almost all the discussions revolved around different types of alcohol - taste, brewing techniques, etc.

I'm pretty sure I've never experienced this, maybe this person just had a set of coworkers with very specific hobbies. The topics that come up the most in my experience are sports related, which I can't relate to at all, so I just sit back and enjoy my beer.

> Imagine going to a meetup or work event where everyone is smoking weed and they’re discussing how to grow good quality cannabis.

The last drupal meetup I went to had exactly this. I'm not at all interested in growing weed but it was still an interesting discussion.

I don't share the author's experience of being persuaded to drink. I stopped drinking for a good couple years and every time I went out with friends (edit: or work events with coworkers), no one cared who drank and who didn't. If you just had some sparkling water in hand, or even regular water, no one asked about it.

Aside: In fact, with coworkers I definitely did not drink whatsoever, even when I resumed drinking generally with friends, because I don't know what I might inadvertently blurt out, which might happen with even a couple drinks.

Whoever you are and in whatever stage of life, there will always be some popular thing that you can’t even fake being a part of. Might be alcohol, might be sports, might be heterosexuality, might be kids, might be money, career or a thousand other things.

The solution is not to sand all public life down to a smooth and seamless sameness. It is to treat each other respectfully, even if you are an -er hanging around are nots.

Sorry to this person for a few moments of feeling left out. We all have those moments, some more than others.

I'd love to hear about some alternatives. I still default to "let's go to a bar" as the hangout thing to do, but TBH I'm getting kind of tired of alcohol. I'm just not really sure what other options are.

Bars are great: you get a small table for your conversation; being a little loud and bawdy is fine (no kids); it's a casual drop-in-drop-out atmosphere where the bill is already split. Where do you get that kind of atmosphere other than a bar? Genuinely asking, I'd love to have another social option.

> However, I had to give the prize back since it was a beer dispenser and I don’t drink. If your reaction after reading the last line was “Why don’t you drink?” or “Most of us do and it’s your choice that you missed out.”

No, my reaction after this is "Why didn't you just gift it to some friend who drinks beer?".

I guess this generic joke applies:

How do you know somebody doesn't drink alcohol? Because he told you so.

> The server (who was a little amused by my request) had to think about what they had that wasn’t alcohol but was gracious enough to bring me a pineapple juice.

If they had pineapple juice then I'd assume they had plenty of non-alcoholic options and the thinking was more about mentally composing a list of those instead of serving simply "beer". Some beer drinker will be more specific and ask for a Lager but that's what you get anyway if you ask for a beer.

> But somehow, the topic of alcohol seems to overpower all other topics in networking socials.

I'm guilty of that myself. I really like to explain to people who think malt is a type of grain how beer is brewed and ask about their favorite aqua vitae. At the moment, though, I am reducing my alcohol consumption.

Generally I share and agree with his view point. Have also been wondering about it.

The most worrying part is equaling respect of personal preferences with inclusive culture. ("I cannot participate in conversation, so there should be no this conversation")

Others said enough about prizes.

I respect my guests. Being vegetarian myself, I am trying to know in advance my guests' preferences -- and they are weird sometimes (no garlic, or no mustard, or you name it). But I am far from waging war on meat-eating: in fact I would go with friends to steak house without second consideration.

Inclusivity is a willingness to accommodate. It is respect to people preferences, regardless of small or big group they are. It is respect to event organizers: it would be nearly impossible to find venue. (I know vegans, and I know people who'd reject anything but meat -- any suggestion for a dinner place?) (In many events my lunch is "whatever you have vegetarian", and I have a backup protein bars -- but I consider it as my problem, not organizers'. They are busy, and I am grateful to them.)

I totally agree here. It only becomes noticeable when you don't drink, but when you do, it's painfully obvious the bias inherent in people around alcohol consumption.

I have no issue with people drinking around me and will happily go to a bar and order a virgin mixed drink, but when major team-building activities revolve around drug consumption, it starts to become a bigger issue. Not to mention the fact that alcohol lowers inhibitions and makes people do really stupid things -- like make inappropriate jokes or much worse.

I drink occasionally, but not very typically. It's really just not something I enjoy doing anymore. On the other hand, a lot of people really enjoy food. I mean really enjoy it, like food is a topic that will make them grossly excited in my view. I know why I see that interest that way and it's because I have a family member that I watched, with much of the same rhetoric, destroy themselves over decades with it. As a result, I cook but I don't really enjoy food - I see it as a necessity, and much of my life is spent fasting anyway. In full transparency, there is an exception for spices. I do like spicing things, but usually food conversations center around dishes - not spices.

On the other hand, I smoke a lot of weed and I play video games. I also go to festivals, enjoy gardening, casually ride my bike long~ish distances, and brew my own Kombucha.

I asked myself how would I respond in the authors shoes if someone offered me some booze or food-oriented gift. After all, these are pretty safe bets to hand out at parties. I would accept it and either regift it or repurpose it. A beer dispenser sounds like a great Kombucha dispenser. A fancy home meal kit sounds like the perfect gift for my mom, sister, or brothers.

My interests are fairly niche, there are probably few prizes that could be offered in large gatherings that would fit those interests and still be appropriate.

This rant comes off like he has a chip on his shoulder. He just took several different situations that offered alcohol and tried to make it seem like it's some kind of discrimination. Like with the beer dispenser.. he could have sold it or gift it to a coworker.

> You’re well within your rights to enjoy alcohol. Please, however, make certain that your enjoyment does not come at the expense of inclusivity and the safety of others.

My enjoyment of things is never going to include everyone. There just isn't a lowest common denominator. Diversity in work and in life is all about recognizing that people are indeed different and treating that as something to strive for, not to avoid with words like "inclusivity". Diversity means that nothing includes everyone. People should feel free to opt out without trying to get everyone else to as well.

This entire article came across as a winey rant. I've never been in a situation where "all the discussions were about alcohol" outside of when I worked for a liquor store and participated in industry events. Within the coding spear, alcohol is not discussed anywhere close to as frequently as nerdy topics.

Why didn't the author just take the "beer dispenser" and use it to dispense something else? The pipes, tubes, mechanisms don't only work for beer. Or just sell it or donate it if it bothered him that much.

> While it was a networking event for a tech event, almost all the discussions revolved around different types of alcohol - taste, brewing techniques, etc.

Other alternatives would be movies or shows you might not watch, books you haven't read, coffee but you don't drink coffee, BBQ but you are vegan, etc...

> almost all the discussions revolved around different types of alcohol - taste, brewing techniques, etc. Needless to say, I had zero opinion on this topic and it barred me from engaging in most discussions.

Where was this? As much as I'd love to discuss brewing techniques with my colleagues in tech, most don't have the slightest interest in it (most people who drink, don't), and I'm very surprised it was the dominant topic of conversation at a conference—to the point where I'm nearly convinced it never happened or the author is highly exaggerating the matter.

Pretty easy to dismiss the author's point when you can apply the same logic to not serve meat in events as well.

How about sports themed prizes? Not everybody enjoys football, (or even agrees on what it is!) so how horribly divisive of someone to offer season tickets as a prize for a raffle, eh? Or you could just sell it off later to someone who values it more.

Perhaps we need to be more accepting, individually, of the joys of others which we do not share. Even if you don't drink yeast are easy, fun, and rewarding pets: perhaps the brewers' discussions need more microbiology geekery.

I didn't drink any alcohol for the first 40 years of my life for religious reasons and I really don't think it's that big of a deal to say "no thank you". If you're in America or Europe, alcohol is going to be a part of the culture whether you partake or not and I feel that people who don't drink need to accept that.

However, there are definitely things that those in the majority can do to make the minority feel included. When I was a new grad student my advisor made it very clear that I wouldn't be pressured to drink at social events and I was grateful for his thoughtfulness. And he was true to his word. I still had to say "no thank you", but I felt safe doing so, and I still felt included.

I like (craft) beer for the taste. I rarely have more than a couple and thus I rarely get tipsy much less drunk. I would honestly happily drink non-alcoholic or low-alcohol beer if there were more good options (I have no idea how much of the flavor of beer comes down to alcohol).

That said, I think it’s mostly fine that lots of people like drink, although many people obviously don’t handle it well. So I also understand why people think it isn’t great for society. I think the most compelling point is that alcoholism exists, and we probably shouldn’t make the default social environment one which revolves around alcohol.

The reason bars are popular for company events is that they are the cheap and easy choice. For the price of a couple of rounds, you get maximum camaraderie--at least among the people who attend and drink. You usually need no forewarning, as many bars can handle an influx of a team's worth of people without issue.

Alternatives all require more planning, and usually higher expense, and often result in people who are comfortable in bars opting out. You might rent some bowling lanes and provide food, but that's usually more expensive than a bar, and there will definitely be some people who won't bowl.

Other activities in the same category as bowling, like escape rooms and the like, all seem "forced" in that they require people to do things they probably don't normally do. This is in addition to the expense and planning necessary.

Possibly the most natural event of all is a meal, since everybody eats. Assuming you find a restaurant that accommodates varying dietary requirements, you probably need to make reservations and possibly spend more than you would at a bar, but it's still probably the best option. Except... everybody will be sitting down rather than mingling, so it's a different sort of event then.

I'm not saying a bar is the best option. I'm saying it's the easiest option, which is why so many companies go back to it again and again.

People like their drugs and alcohol, but various societies have all kinds of issues with legalization of drugs and alcohol. Alcohol is illegal in many countries, other drugs are illegal in other countries, with varying degrees of state-sanctioned punishments.

From a biochemical perspective, alcohol is one of the more damaging drugs with long-term health consequences for heavy users, certainly on at least the same risk level as opiates, cocaine, (meth)amphetamines, benzodiazepines, cannabis, mushrooms, LSD, mescaline, nictotine, etc. Behavioral consequences of use and abuse are not much different (think of how many people are killed by drunk drivers).

The underlying issue here probably isn't infrequent use, it's people who grow so accustomed to their substance of choice that they can't do anything or attend any event without it. Smokers deprived of their nicotine can't sit still or interact with other people, alcoholics deprived of their daily drink go into fits, opiate addicts start climbing the walls, etc. If these are the people designing social gatherings, you can be sure they're going to set them up so that their substance of choice is the center of the activity. If they get upset that others aren't imbibing with them, they're just looking for social support of their rather unhealthy behavior.

For many of us, however, a 'work-related social event' is the last thing we'd want to do with our free time - it's time on the clock, representing the company, and might very well go into our performance review in some way.

> You’re well within your rights to enjoy alcohol. Please, however, make certain that your enjoyment does not come at the expense of inclusivity and the safety of others.

Nah sorry, never pressured anyone to drink, and if they don't good for them.

Others are quibbling that there are lots of things that can make a person feel excluded due to lack of a shared interest, and alcohol isn't special, and that one can always get a non-alcoholic drink, etc. But I think alcohol _is_ kind of different:

> Most folks don’t understand the effect of peer pressure on those who don’t drink or are in an early stage of recovery from alcohol problems.

I think the 'early stage of recovery from alcohol problems' concern is valid, and is not at all on the same level as a person who is disinterested in sportsball having to nod through a conversation about sports.

But I also think his post brings out some questions that people should be thinking about with such events: are you making choices which will make your event less successful at achieving your goals? The people planning a network event almost certainly didn't want the author to feel alienated and excluded at a _networking_ event. If a person that helps close a big deal doesn't drink, perhaps opening a bottle of champagne to celebrate doesn't actually make them feel seen, valued and appreciated.

It's unfortunate, but there is no solving it. There will always be a topic that lots of people are focused on in practice or discussion that is going to be annoying for others.

For me, in the southeast USA, it's football. It's the primary topic for a lot of people in most social settings for 1/3rd of every single year. I don't know anything about it and don't care, so I just have to leave those conversations. It's unfortunate, but it's how it is.

Alcohol is even harder, because the vast majority of places set up for casual socialization are focused on food and drink. Even if you have events at a park, rock climbing gym, or art studio, the people who like alcohol are going to want to have drinks available, and if you don't have drinks available fewer people are likely to come.

Not drinking is an incredibly healthy choice that I respect people for making. But you are in the minority in a lot of places, and being in the minority means still having to interact with the majority, who is going to want to partake and discuss their mutual interests.

I have never even come close to feeling pressured to drink, I do like being treated like an adult and having the option to drink at company events/parties though, if I want.

I don't know where this person has worked or studied but it's not something I've ever come across working in the Bay Area or any other tech hub I've worked in.

> Imagine going to a meetup or work event where everyone is smoking weed and they’re discussing how to grow good quality cannabis.

I would be 100% okay with this, I wouldn't partake in the weed, I'd probably just have a beer and talk to the people anyway. I don't know much about weed, but whatever, I'll take it as an opportunity to learn something about a topic I don't know much about and have a conversation.

This just seems like an example of the difference in attitude you can have when you try to adapt yourself to your environment vs expecting your environment to adapt itself to you.

"Let's only talk about what everybody likes. If someone isn't into it, they will feel excluded."

I think that was a good write-up, and he made a pretty strong case. I don't drink alcohol myself and I share some of his feelings. Talking about alcohol seems to be a really nice way to start and keep up a conversation, I've noticed. Same applies to smoking and e.g. lighting someone else's cigarette, which is a type of sharing you don't get to do very often with people. Leaning towards a mentality where everybody drinks alcohol by default, with the assumption that alcohol is an essential ingredient for having a good time, is unnecessary and unhealthy, and as he said, sometimes isolating experience to some.

I somewhat relate to this. I don't drink and never really have, but do find it tends to be the center of many conversations and of after-hours work-related events, be it vendors or what have you.

It's never really posed a huge problem for me to tag along and drink something non-alcoholic though, and it gives me (an introvert) and excuse to skip out on some more drinking-centric social events (where people are just going to get hammered) that I'd prefer to avoid.

People love alcohol and I don't expect this aspect of culture to shift anytime soon nor would I push for it to. If I miss out on some social climbing outcome, so be it.

I love the occasional drink and sometimes getting drunk. But an alcohol dependent work culture is not something to strive for. It is completely ok not to drink and work events should not be completely centered around alcohol.

People don't connect in sterile, comfortable-for-all environments. Professionalism keeps this in check: inclusive enough to not exclude people from other cultures, etc. But it's somewhat of a trade-off and we have trouble admitting that.

I don't have a strong opinion about whether alcohol should be an ordinary part of business or not. Seems reasonable either way. But anything interesting can make some people uncomfortable, so let's not eliminate it all.

> For the first time, I won a major raffle at a recent conference. However, I had to give the prize back since it was a beer dispenser and I don’t drink.

You didn't have to give it back, you could have gifted /converted it to money by putting it up on a marketplace.

> Let’s start with a beer dispenser as a prize. To be fair to the organizers (who hosted an awesome conference), all but this gift were regular ones,

Organizers don't always choose what's going to be in raffles, some of the prizes are offered by sponsors.

> and by pure coincidence, the only alcohol-related prize was won by the person who doesn’t drink.

That's how raffles work bro, if the organizers know who will win what when , there is a major problem (see https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=17638677). However, if coincidence is on your side you'll end up with the car of your dreams when your beater dies. The only way not to be disappointed is to expect nothing out of it or just not participate.

Other than looking a gifted horse in the mouth, I wonder if the author enjoyed something at this conference and if he expected more than just the work related side. Personally I like the social side of events such as conferences where you can meet like minded folks who share common interests , yes the beer and drinks and etc as well. I don't judge when a small group goes out for a cigarette / vaping, even during work hours, & I respect people who don't partake. It doesn't mean not hanging around with them and not including them in activities.

Related: Our Culture of Exclusion (2012):

“Let's be clear, I will turn down a beer any day of the week!”

— https://web.archive.org/web/20130413021020/http://ryanfunduk...

>I’m calling out the alcohol obsession we have in the tech industry

Having worked in the tech industry, publishing, academia, and medicine, I'd like to offer a correction. The tech industry does not have an alcohol obsession. The United States has an alcohol obsession. Drinking was certainly pervasive in tech, but no more than anywhere else.

>Having an event in a bar or a pub is problematic in and of itself.

Likewise, there is simply a lack of public social gathering places, in American cities period, that are not bars. And I don't particularly like bowling.

>If one needs alcohol to have a good time, then there’s a bigger problem to deal with.

My hypothesis is that alcohol supports a rapid transition from work to relaxation, in much the same way that caffeine supports a rapid transition from sleep to work. Under "normal" conditions, the mind is more "sticky".

I've never like the taste of beer but come to tolerate the low-bitterness wheat lager type. So if socially useful I just spend a long time drinking up one. If you don't mind the taste but do mind the alcohol, dealcoholized beers have come a long way to repectability. I was stunned to see them as a standard offer at the Viktualienmarkt in Munich of all places, and that was 9 years ago.

And finally the old stalwart: Ginger ale! If you don't put ice in it, it doesn't look much different from beer.

> Imagine going to a meetup or work event where everyone is smoking weed and they’re discussing how to grow good quality cannabis.

In my experience in the Bay Area, this describes every single meetup.

> Imagine going to a meetup or work event where everyone is smoking weed and they’re discussing how to grow good quality cannabis

I have seen things like this at work events in Canada

It is like any other thing including coffee or food people like it so it is a common thing to do. I have never seen it be an issue in a work context. Don't restrict others because of your piety or whatever your reasons. So long as you can opt out don't restrict others.

Let's not have a beer? I disagree let's have a beer. The post should have been about the alternatives he wants to have or do. Let's have coffee? Plenty of that happening.

World's brightest minds converge to try and figure out why Dewan Ahmed would take issue with being awarded alcoholic paraphenilia. We may be in trouble.

This sounds like a YOU problem. I used to drink in my 20s and gave it up at age 30. I have no problem asking for a Diet Coke or whatever non-alcoholic drink I want. Insecurity doesn't even enter into my mind. Furthermore, I still "go get drinks" with coworkers all the time. They don't care if I don't order alcohol. It's about camaraderie and building rapport, not the liquid in your glass.

I just don't care about this at all. I am a bigot and I don't care at all how you feel about that. I will explicitly or implicitly exclude you, for the benefit or me or my friends, and I won't have a second thought about it. Inclusion is a plague turning the world into a meaningless gray goo. I'd rather be a artful villain than a self righteous bean counter.

I started working on this[0] a while back. Got pulled away by something that has a clearer business model, but I think "helping people drink less" (or not at all) is a real market. I'd be interested to invest in anyone that's building something that does this.

0 - https://stopping.app/

I don't like spas/massages. I don't really like sports.

If I won a "Day Package" or "Great seats for watch FOO", how about just being nice to someone and giving the prize away?

I'm sure you can find an unappreciated admin/receptionist/intern and really make their day and sure beats complaining about it.

I've been abstaining from alcohol for a year now, and haven't noticed the peer pressure at all (mid 30s tech worker). But I do understand -- I'd much rather go socialize at a place that has good food or some activities rather than a cocktail bar being the main theme.

>However, selecting a beer dispenser as a prize implies that “everyone drinks”

Just like selecting a purse as a prize implies that everyone uses a purse? I think he is overthinking this. Just as I would give the purse to someone who can use it he can do the same with the beer dispenser.

> Imagine going to a meetup or work event where everyone is smoking weed and they’re discussing how to grow good quality cannabis. If you are not a cannabis user, you will feel out of place at that event.

Therefore - no more discussion of any hobbies at work or meetups!

He must have been the kid that cried after getting the wrong toy in their Happy Meal.

I really wish bars would serve better tea.

I often ask for tea. It is not often good.

I agree with Dewan's comments. It sucks for people who don't drink or who choose not to drink. I think the tech industry should be more aware of that when it comes to events, prizes, etc. However, sometimes in life you're given the short end of the straw. Like for ex. I am a short person but when I go to Europe, the urinals are quite tall for me. It's something that I have to live with because that's the way things are.

There will never be a drastic change in this culture. Majority of people don't want this change. We'll just need to be more mindful of others in the future.

Alcohol is superseded by superior, less bodily destructive, mind-expanding alternatives in 2022. Plus, you cannot talk someone out of being drunk - they must process it. Many young people in their thirties are drinking themselves to death. It's a tragedy, we should really kick the alcohol. To be clear, I think the other things (some on the famous "schedule") should be legalized instead.

Lots of comments in here disregarding the author's take, but there is a pervasive alcohol culture in most US workplaces.

One place I worked at did champagne for birthdays and major celebrations. All outings after work were at a bar.

Another place I was at was basically a frat house. Lots of young folks fresh out of college and drinking was practically expected. Interviews took place at bars in the early days. Owner used to come by my desk on a Friday afternoon with a bottle of wine, pour me a glass and tell me to stop working and have a drink.

Staff parties were drinking fueled raves. Socializing and other official events were centered around drinking. It was even a selling point of working for the place that the fridge was always stocked with alcohol. Some people kept a special bottle of whisky in their desk.

I'm no prude...I enjoy the occasional drink of all varieties. One glass (max two) of <insert alcoholic beverage here> and I'm good.

But the drinking culture screams at you that you should drink all the time, drink more and be happy to have a chance to drink. It screams that you should care about brewing processes and types of alcohol.

It's not a problem just in tech, but tech workforces revel in it. I can't say that if I didn't drink it wouldn't stop my advancing through career ladders, being a "good drinking buddy" did play a non zero role into the speed of advancement and size of bonuses in some form when I directly compared my trajectory to others who didn't take part in the drinking sessions.

It's also not just a work problem...humanity as a whole defaults to drinking. I was part of it through my college years and the first few years of working in tech. I started backing away from drinking as much and going to fewer bar outings for my own personal fitness reasons, and I felt the pressure "what you're leaving already? You're not going to have another? Drink faster".

For all of you who say you've never pressured anyone about it, haven't seen it, or don't feel it, there are 10 more people who do the exact opposite. No one held me down and forced me to drink, and no one applied more pressure that I couldn't gracefully handle as someone secure in themselves and their choices can do, but there is a non zero amount of work to be done that becomes mildly annoying for me. For others who cave easily to pressure but want to break out they feel it more I'm sure.

For anyone struggling to break out of the drinking cycle here are some things I've found after years of trying to drop it:

* Set yourself a limit and stick to it. Make it known. Mine is a two drink max. Even one will do. If you so choose zero is fine too.

* The pressure can feel immense, but hold your ground.

* Having no drink in front of you or an empty glass is a trigger for someone to ask you about it and try to pressure you into another one. Keep a glass a little full to help avoid that.

* Keep a separate tab from everyone else. I've found that having one shared tab is like throwing fuel on the fire for everyone to drink more. Especially in a company outing there is a chance that the company will pay for it making everyone go crazy with consumption.

* If someone buys you a drink that you didn't ask for feel free to not drink it and pass it onto someone else who is enthusiastic about drinking it. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

EDIT: One last thing -- I don't think we should remove people from being able to drink at work events, or remove it as part of the culture. Instead just raising the idea and making it more normalized that there are people who want to spend time with you, but don't want to drink just to spend time with you.

There was a popular HN post on the front page called "color has been disappearing from the world"[0]. There are comments on it about "regression to the mean", "commoditization", etc. One commentor proposed that "barren inoffense is maximum profit".

This blog post is a good example of that trend. Most humans enjoy alcohol, but some of us abstain, just like how most humans enjoy many colors but some of us of us are put off by some colors. Ergo, drinks trend towards water and colors trend towards grey.

Let's not have an alcoholic drink. Let's not go to a long sports game. Let's not see an irreverent movie. How about we just go to work, do our jobs, keep our heads down, and not do anything we can't all agree on. Obviously that's not what the author intends, but it's where you end up if you try to appease every opinion in the same family as the one in this post.

"If you don't [x], you feel like an outcast." This is true, and unfortunate. It's also unavoidable when you let people act human around each other. Common interests will be discovered, emphasized in conversation, and may begin to exclude others to some degree. The appropriate reaction is to discover those other interests that you have in common with a subset of your team and draw attention to those. However, the end result is not necessarily equitable. Sometimes a team member just has less in common with others. Worse still, not all people have the same degree of openness or diversity of interests as others. I don't know what else to say except that I sympathize, but not so much that I think we should keep on marching towards grey to lessen the impact.

0. https://tumblr.macleodsawyer.com/post/691054353059053568/col...

There is no prize that is universal outside of cash which can’t be done easily for tax reasons and a large percentage of people do drink. You could say the same about sports related prizes(some people don’t like sports), food(different taste), gift cards(boycotting store, prefer a different store, or the store is “gendered”), or any other prize. I prefer a world with prizes, even if I end up winning something I don’t want or need. I’m sure you have friends that drink, you could regift, now you have a birthday covered.

With all due respect, perhaps the problem lies with you? Not because you don’t drink, but because you let it bother you and causes you to cast judgment on others.

In my many years since graduating college, I've never known anyone who would think less of someone for not drinking alcohol. At most it would have been a passing curiosity. Designated drivers have been a thing for decades. Non-alcoholic drink options are available everywhere. And complaining that a door prize isn't something you can use is ridiculous.

> Most folks don’t understand the effect of peer pressure on those who don’t drink or are in an early stage of recovery from alcohol problems.

It sounds to me like the author is more frustrated that other people like to talk about things that he's just not interested in when they're out socializing. The harsh reality, though, is that if you don't have something more interesting or charming for them, then yes, you're going to get ignored. That's true whether they're talking about brewing beer, smoking weed, or sports. Don't waste your time at social events you don't enjoy. Or be proactive, and join the social committee to help with the planning.

This happens to everyone, all the time.

Prize is a cheese wheel and you're vegan.

Prize is peanut brittle and you have a nut allergy.

Prize is a trip and you have a fear of flying or it comes on a religion holiday you observe.

Prize is food and isn't Halal / Kosher.

Yes, drinking culture has probably overshot. Beer is bad for you, even in moderation. But it is common enough, reasonably well accepted in many cultures, and one can just say "no thank you".