How to Befriend Crows and Turn Them Against Your Enemies

I exercise my dog in the same part of my local park each day - a quiet area which is normally a cricket pitch. He’s got terrible recall so we are practising with a long training leash and treats. There’s a family of crows who now - the instant we arrive - swoop down and shout for treats.

They’ve become more and more friendly - and more and more bold. I recently had the treats in a clip lock tub - one of those ones with a circular lid with a clip very 90 degrees. Over the course of a week they investigated the bowl and lid. I made sure to show them clearly how I was opening it. Sure enough, the other day while we were round the other side of the cricket pitch the crows went into my tote bag, pulled the bowl out and opened the lid. I was astonished how quickly they worked it out.

It’s now reached the point that when we run round the cricket pitch before we leave one of them hops along behind us all the way round. It’s feels weirdly special that they’ve chosen to befriend me like this. I know it’s transactional driven by the treats they get, but even so!

They don't just form menacing groups, they also weaponize their droppings. If you harass a crow, you could be put on a literal "shit list." My brother threw a pine cone at a crow once as he got into his car. For years after, all the local crows would perch above his parked car to shit.

Strangely powerful data. I occurs to me, you can get crows to hate your enemies without befriending them first. Just by masquerading as your enemy and throwing a pinecone at them.

Maybe a website, pay to have someone put on the crows' 'shit list'?

I feel like if more people adopt the tactics suggested at the end of this article the crows will eventually figure out what is happening, and their response won't be pretty.

This dude is a riot! Wish I could write like that! The overall concept is hysterical, article has great momentum, and many zingers throughout.

And here I thought this was going to be an article on World War Crow (https://imgur.com/HJ27Mc6).

I enjoyed the rhetorical style used in this article. A nicely presented mixture of humor and information.