Americans Are Breaking Up with Their Work Friends
wsj.com
wsj.com
It led to us realizing that at an emotional level, we didn't have as many or possibly any one that we could truly call a friend - no one that would help you move, or visit you at the hospital, or watch your kids in an emergency.
In that realization, so many people decided to be more deliberate about who they made friends with and how to be vulnerable. This certainly plays into my decision to keep working from home. I have much healthier friendships, and a group of people who I can call true friends and who support me now. Looking back, it was pretty dumb of me to confuse that with work, but I'll cut myself some slack - I'm a much different person now.
One last point. If I had to guess, a lot of C-suite and VP-level folks who are calling for a return to the office probably made this same mistake, but have it a lot worse. Their inability to set personal-work boundaries on one hand led to their success, but also a realization that they may have no real friends and no time to make them. The incentives to conflate work-relationships with friendship have to be much more powerful at that level.
You're perfectly within your right not to be a part of this group. I'm not trying to force you to take on a label or view that doesn't correspond to your experience. There's room for a plurality of explanations.
I'd be happy to read your experience if you're willing to share :)
My experience with work friends is that companies that foster social environments will have more people who are closer together. My first SDE job was at a medium size company that didn’t pay very well but it was a lot of fun. Bi-yearly all hands meet ups at a resort, tons of office happy hours, monthly outings within your own city. I made good friends there.
Then, when I moved to Amazon for the higher paying job, they have such a soul draining culture that it’s impossible to be very social. You’re more worried about doing better than your peers than you are working with them to build a better product.
My current job is completely remote so there’s no social aspect.
So, I disagree with your sentiment. I don’t think people want to be less social. Sure, maybe people are becoming less social in general, but I think overall it’s just tech companies are less likely to harbor good social environments.