So frustrating that there's no way to access this tech without putting your name on a list and waiting an unspecified amount of time (months?). It's the sort of thing many people would pay well for, even at its current stage of development.
Most of the interesting things I've done in my life and career began with just wanting to play with something and see how it worked, but it was probably unrealistic to expect OpenAI to buy into that, given the large number of more worthy-sounding candidates in line ahead of me. Maybe I'll reapply with a different email address and make up a more mediagenic motivation.
Gotta give credit where it's due, in any case. I hereby withdraw my complaint!