"... straight women are increasingly better positioned to have their pick of other suitors who actually meet their standards"
If there are fewer men who meet their higher standards, how are [women ages 25 to 45] better positioned to have their pick of them? If their dating standards increased it would shrink the pool of eligibles and increase scarcity for women too.
Women now have the "nope" option, which historically they didn't. A woman now can realistically say, "I want a man this good, or nobody". Every woman who doesn't like the available options and chooses "nobody" is a man who doesn't get picked.
Unfortunately, many men respond to this, not by getting their act together and becoming someone worth picking, but instead by moping around and calling them themselves "incel", and "laying flat", and taking drugs and alcohol, and getting lost in extreme politics, and on and on.
The good news for men is, if you can become a more-or-less decent person, that's rare enough that you may be able to attract a better woman than you perhaps deserve. I certainly did.
Doesn't that make her a female incel? What's the difference?
I think the difference (no matter what you are or what kind of person you're attracted to) is in the way you choose to deal with failure.
Women have always had a higher bar than men, because they are not ruled by their d1(xs.