Very well written, very funny. Even though I don't eat much red meat, the article makes me want an Argentine steak. Although I'm not sure how happy I would be with the rest of Argentine cuisine.
He's not wrong about restaurants opening late by American standards. Order takeout at 8 PM when a restaurant opens and you'll be eating around 9:30.
The exceptions are rare; one restaurant near my apartment in Buenos Aires was open for dinner at 7:00 PM and I often started my meal completely alone except for wait staff.
You should give Argentinan cuisine a chance as you might find something you like, and if you find yourself in Buenos Aires there are always places that cook foreign cuisine when you get homesick for your favorite food. But yeah, dude, at least once try the steak.