You have the life experience to know what will and won't affect you, and you've found an equilibrium of control and impact that apparently makes you happy.

That's very you specific, not really related to your age, other than that it took you until your 30s to find that equilibrium.

There's nothing at all written down anywhere that ensures such an equilibrium for everyone, however. Especially for folks who represent a minority in their society, life is a lot more threatening and a lot less controllable for them, typically.

For some, that equilibrium may never come, and while that doesn't invalidate your experience, it certainly doesn't support the idea that "you'll calm down when you're older".