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Definitely use a big database, until you can't. My advice to anyone starting with a relational data store is to use a proxy from day 1 (or some point before adding something like that becomes scary).

When you need to start sharding your database, having a proxy is like having a super power.

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Disclaimer: I am the founder of PolyScale [1].

We see both use cases: single large database vs multiple small, decoupled. I agree with the sentiment that a large database offer simplicity, until access patterns change.

We focus on distributing database data to the edge using caching. Typically this eliminates read-replicas and a lot of the headache that goes with app logic rewrites or scaling "One Big Database".

[1] https://www.polyscale.ai/

Are there postgres proxies that can specifically facilitate sharding / partitioning later?

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