To pair, the lightbulb's ESP8266 (or cheaper equivalent) sits with its Wi-Fi radio in monitor mode - not authenticated to anything, just watching All The Packets flying back and forth - and the smartphone sprays crafted packets to 255.255.255.255 with specific lengths (Wi-Fi encryption does not alter packet length), where the length of each packet taken in sequence then interpreted as ASCII represents the encoded setup packet containing the target SSID and password. (Of course that setup packet is plaintext and I was able to vacuum up your password *sad exploding brain* D:)
Apple could do the same basic idea here: have the connected iPhone spray a magic packet sequence to 255.255.255.255, representing say an OTP-esque nonce or similar sort of thing that is communicated to the non-connected iPhone OOB (eg Bluetooth or cellular). If the non-connected iPhone can see this sequence fly past in monitor mode, then ultimately it's on the same network even if the SSID is different.
...Or at least this all works if you can associate packet X, with length Y, *with SSID Z*. If you can't localize the sequence to an SSID without being authenticated this doesn't work.