Comment by TT-392 | Hacker News Reader

Comment by TT-392 | Hacker News Reader

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To me I think that it is often just the case that I am not completely convinced yet. Debating something with someone can be a rather stressful social situation. Maybe I am not able to explain my point of view well, and just want to get out of this stressful situation. Also, when you actually think you might be wrong about something, you are expected to admit you are wrong, which basically feels like being pressured to announce that you have just changed your worldview. Making a decision like that, on the spot, in the middle of a stressful social situation, while you are not even sure about it yet, can be a very anxiety inducing situation.

Maybe it sounds a bit extreme to see admitting you are wrong as announcing you changing your worldview, but it just kinda feels like that for me, even if it is about something small.

Also, for me at least, I have this weird anxiety that, whenever I tell someone I made a decision, that I could never go back on that decision. It feels really weird to me. For the longest time I felt like I couldn't let anyone know I wanted to live a healthier lifestyle, because it somehow felt like, if I told anyone about it, I could never go back to comfort food and stuff like that. Not sure what that is all about, even my psychologist didn't understand it.

That is very well put. I used to have this anxiety of never going back too, just like you described. Now I think I may have somehow changed perspectives and consequently changed my whole worldview and convinced myself that the cost of keeping all that up is too high, and embracing change and it's tingly-itchy feeling is the way to go, so I naturally feel slightly more inclined to change and not look back.

> Also, for me at least, I have this weird anxiety that, whenever I tell someone I made a decision, that I could never go back on that decision.

To me, especially in technical contexts, I've always been afraid of backing away from a point I strongly defended before - because I want people to trust and what I say and not be afraid of relying on it, which is undermined by admitting fault.

However, admitting that you're wrong (and maybe even more so, admitting that you might not be right) is actually quite freeing: Nobody should expect you to be 100% perfect, and regardless of your technical prowess, if you challenge yourself you will sometimes fail. Communicating clearly when you are unsure about something, or when something made you reconsider your opinion, is just as valuable to how people perceive you as "always being right". As a bonus, it also helps keep you humble to admit to yourself that you won't always be right.

Once you grok duality, you can hold two opposing worldviews in your head at the same time. Many people are always shocked when I pivot to the opposite of what I just said, and expect me to be embarrassed. The thing about worldviews is that they’re malleable and context specific.

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