Someone will talk about their experience doing some task and they’ll pop in (uninvited) to say things don’t work that way. Their way is the only way things are done… or perhaps should be done?
Talking to other people who know them, they’ve been doing this their entire life and can’t understand why this upsets people. No attempt has made to learn. They just walk away and come back to do the same thing. This has been happening for decades.
The my initial thought is: This is incredibly aggravating. At some point after many decades of extremely poor social interactions, isn’t it reasonable to assume someone would learn to accept their experiences aren’t the only ones?
My second is: is this just behavior neurotypical people do all the time and are just nice about it?
I find it difficult to understand. I’m not autistic, but on the surface I deal with a lot of the same problems.
From my own background, I deeply struggled with social interaction until I learned everything by rote memorization until I could form a logical model of human psychology. I know people the same way I know computer programs.
My mental model of humans does handle most autistic people I’ve met. If my model was off, I’d notice the inputs and outputs wouldn’t match. I can usually tell when people are faking things because they have a less complete mental model of humans. The gaps are pretty glaring to me.
But I can’t figure this person out. My model’s conclusion is this person is severely impaired in a way that affects how they form mental models. Or… they are capable of learning but would rather feel bad than change how they relate to people. Whatever the problem is, it doesn’t feel malicious. But whatever it is, it’s gone on for decades.
I don’t like assuming either of those.
Edit: I should note, they seem like a decent person and I’m inclined to believe they are. Their friends wouldn’t tolerant or defend someone with bad intentions.