The night I met Einstein (1955)
rd.com
rd.com
It’s exactly how I’ve managed my way through countless dinners with my wife’s French speaking family.
~Einstein
The night I Met Einstein - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1129077 - Feb 2010 (20 comments)
The night I met Einstein - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=589608 - May 2009 (39 comments)
I have wondered if these people were always this way, or if they developed the habit after becoming famous. I've also wondered whether the singular attention would be received in the same way if it were coming from someone who was not as famous.
It's obviously better than talking to someone who is constantly glancing around the room, but could it ever bee seen as creepy or weird? I can't imagine this fellow would have followed just anyone up into an upstairs room with a phonograph player!
Read a few pages from https://archive.org/details/isbn_9780874875843/page/75
People are complicated beings.
---
[0]: https://www.nytimes.com/1996/11/06/arts/dark-side-of-einstei...
Marriages can be delicate, take a lot of hard work, and can break in any number of ways, when the two partners’ priorities don’t align. It’s a particular challenge if one of the partners is extremely busy with their work, often traveling alone, has lots of external obligations and commitments ....
These particular letters are evidence that Einstein had a bad relationship with his wife for many years and probably fell well short of her original expectations, being more occupied with his career than his family. But not necessarily evidence that he was a jerk or mistreating anyone. Without knowing a whole lot more about the situation it’s pretty hard to judge from a few letters.
(It is generally shitty that women were (and are) often expected to give up their careers to support their husbands’ careers, and later to raise children. As a society we could do a lot more to promote gender equality and help support families.)
i) Transferable focus: Many famous people known for their accomplishments may have succeeded at their work thanks to a great degree of singular focus. This may translate to social interactions, focusing on other conversation participants. Due to selection bias, famous people who are less attentive/tend to multitask are not included in these anecdotes, as they do not get a reputation for listening closely.
ii) Charisma: Other famous people may have succeeded due to strong salesmanship as a primary or secondary skill, which may have led to fruitful connections or funding opportunities. Part of their charisma is from attentive listening.
iii) Placebo (similar to your idea): The amount of attentive listening was normal for any respectful person. However, because the famous person's time is seen as very valuable (as you mentioned), the behavior is seen as exceptional as they could have been doing other things.
iv) Learning (similar to your idea): As the person got famous, they ended up speaking to lots of high-ranking politicians or celebrity figures, and consciously or sub-consciously picked up the habit of attentive listening from them.
Separately: I think a singular attention is typically seen as positive even from a person who is low status. It typically feels good just "feel heard" even from a stranger, especially if few people are typically interested about your life (psychologist Carl Rogers wrote a bit about this). For testable examples, you would probably prefer an experience of singular attention from speaking with a family member, teacher, waiter, or barber/cosmetologist. Even if no service is rendered, it's probably nice to be listened to by a stranger in a one-off conversation.
Attentive focus might only be seen as creepy or weird if there's only intense eye contact with unnatural body language, without other signs using speech that the other person is attentive.
And it's possible that this skill/habit correlates with success (like your reference to charisma) because people who become successful are more likely to be good listeners.
It was magical. Those two seconds of eye contact told me that he genuinely cared about me as a person.
I don't believe he gives a shit, but wow that charisma.
AFAIK that was rather characteristic of Einstein. To quote from Mason Currey's "Daily Rituals: How Artists Work" (found on https://selbstwehr.com/2017/01/31/einsteins-daily-routine/):
> Einstein immigrated to the United States in 1933, where he held a professorship at Princeton University until his retirement in 1945. His routine there was simple. Between 9:00 and 10:00 A.M. he ate breakfast and perused the daily papers. At about 10:30 he left for his Princeton office, walking when the weather was nice; otherwise, a station wagon from the university would pick him up. He worked until 1:00, then returned home for a 1:30 lunch, a nap, and a cup of tea. The rest of the afternoon was spent at home, continuing his work, seeing visitors, and dealing with the correspondence that his secretary had sorted earlier in the day. Supper was at 6:30, followed by more work and more letters.
> Despite his humble lifestyle, Einstein was a celebrity in Princeton, famous not only for his scientific accomplishments but also for his absentmindedness and disheveled appearance. (Einstein wore his hair long to avoid visits to the barber and eschewed socks and suspenders, which he considered unnecessary.) Walking to and from work, he was often waylaid by locals who wanted to meet the great physicist. A colleague remembered, ‘Einstein would pose with the waylayer’s wife, children, or grandchildren as desired and exchange a few good-humored words.
I've heard his charisma is palpable from several friends and acquaintances who have met him over the years. People notice when he walks in the room.
Here's Gillian Anderson (X-Files):
> She recalled meeting former President Bill Clinton back on his campaign trail in 1992 during a chat. She found herself attending a luncheon with the prez-to-be 30 years ago. Anderson remembered being so awestruck by Clinton, that she wanted him to phone her afterwards. “He did the most miraculous thing in the world, he shakes your hand, then he grabs your elbow and at the same time he holds your arm further up.”
> The “X-Files” actress went on, “[It was a] slightly intimate little thing. [He] makes eye contact. And he moves on to the next person. Then he looks back at you.”
> Anderson then described that their meetup was a thing that the politician did to everyone that he comes across. However, she still expected a phone call from him afterwards. “I went home, I thought – this was in the days of answering machines – I literally thought that I was going to go home to a message from him,” she added. “I did. It was that real.”
Always start from an easy place, build from there, no surprises, no big jumps, and you arrive at the destination.
A bit of the opposite of the "How to draw an Owl" meme [0].
So it seems that I was looking at a different part of the picture than most of the people here. You were admiring Einstein focus, while I was examining his method.
I had no idea that Einstein was so compassionate, so aware of how other people were reacting to things, and found so much joy in opening things for other people. Amazing.
"... to have the privilege of walking home with Gödel"
On an only vaguely related topic, I strongly recommend this video by Evelyn Glennie, a deaf percussionist:
How to truly listen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IU3V6zNER4g
Wikipedia has this listed as a short story, which is also how it reads. Anybody know if this is fiction?
According to past HN comments it was submitted to Readers’ Digest as a true story, https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1129698
Sadly many do not understand that and cannot close the perceived gap between the two.
I have met more than my fair share of talented engineers, some with stacks of patents, who would happily stab colleagues in the back for their next promotion.
Even within the hallowed halls of academe, it is well known that competition is vicious for grants and tenure and abuse of graduate students is commonplace.
I think that if you have a gong like that you can relax some of your insecurities. The only nobelists (& equivalent) I have known* have all been supportive in person, though some of them did not have a reputation for it.
The reason I put "can" in italics is that there's no guarantee: some people are simply jerks and for some people a great honor will simply increase their impostor syndrome.
* don't get the wrong idea: I'm not talking about a huge number.
That means you met intelligent people who did not imbibe good virtues & values in life, hence their attitude was not free from cunningness. Hence they did not possess any great intelligence!
Your point sounds interesting, but I'm not sure exactly what you mean.
Are you saying that greater intelligence caused some species to crowd out their less-intelligent cousins?
If so, how would we be certain of that? I mean, it seams plausible, but I'm not familiar enough with natural history to see why it's the best explanation for the historical record.
Despite common usage, it doesn't preclude using that ability to crush those people if useful...
Define intelligence for starters. Then move on to "great intelligence".
Einstein was a man who's brain ended up being removed by what I would call ghouls.
... sad ...
I had been trying some evenings ago to construct a convincing 'No True Scotsman' argument, as the criticisms against such form appeared to me quite weak.
Well, thank you (I guess).
Might be the oldest "everyone clapped" story I've read