I think it's a leaky abstraction nonetheless, regardless if it causes issues in practice. But if it's not a significant issue to users, that's fine; personally I'd prefer to work in UI frameworks that avoid redundant diffing work by design (outside of cases like lists where it's difficult to avoid).
The abstraction is intentionally leak to meet a very valuable design goal: React plays well with other libraries that are manipulating the dom. This is a hard requirement for many businesses because libraries written without React in mind would often cost years to replicate.
So far as I can tell there's no reason someone couldn't apply the general approach to UIs React takes while also making it a less leaky abstraction. In a native scenario this makes a lot more sense because there's less components you might want to reuse vs the web.
If leaky abstractions are unavoidable, we're left with debates about which leaky abstractions are justifiable given the constraints and goals of the design.