My parents took a more hands on approach of destroying my desktop that I paid for and built at 16, broke my bedroom door and subsequently splintered the frame so it couldn't be put back on, constantly disabling my phone service, taking my phone. I don't believe I am capable of making friends, my parents always chose my friends for me and we never had anything in common. The moment I moved out to university I built another machine and did nothing but play games resulting in failing multiple classes. While it was my fault, I did not learn moderation through constant repression. The only thing I got out of this experience is cPTSD, Prazosin, social isolation, panic attacks at footsteps, no identity since I never had the opportunity to understand myself or my emotions. I am however good at picking locks, manipulation, never showing emotion, weaponizing an arsenal of personalities, staying calm and diffusing stressful situations.

My relationship with my parents is fine, I am good at telling them exactly what they want to hear to avoid conflict. I have tried to be open to them numerous times, it only made things worse.

I've grown to enjoy being alone, no longer feel lonely most days. Sometimes I do try to make some semblance of a relationship through games or other activities outside of the computer, but my social skills are lacking not for lack of trying or improving. There are many things I try to change and improve about myself, many sleepless nights reading wikipedia and studies trying to figure out what exactly is wrong with me and what I can do to fix it. I've hit a dead end with BPD, I try not to let it discourage me. I have overcome self harming mostly but the urges are still there. I am very tired and am falling into misanthropy, though I try my best to be the change I would like to see.

I do not blame my parents, my decisions have been my own and I try to be informed. They are human and have made mistakes. It is unfortunate that those mistakes have caused extensive damage to my mental. The things I want most in life are simply unobtainable due to my broken perception of relationships and emotional dysregulation. It is unfair to burden another human with my existence, for what I need they could never hope to provide, though many have tried and walked away hurt, all my fault.

I doubt OP could possibly do worse than this, but the ramifications of such actions should not be taken without heavy consideration. I want to do my best for the next generation and hopefully die soon so no more could be asked of me.