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Comment by xeromal | Hacker News Reader

Warning: This is a very American opinion so know that I realize that many people don't feel this way.

If my kid is 18 and living at home, I have some say in the life. If they want 0 say, they can find their own way. Obviously, I don't give a rat's ass that my 18 year old games becasue as long as they have a healthy lifestyle, I'm glad they're enjoying themselves but if they're starting to become a hermit and losing friends, not working, not taking care of their health, etc, then they're going to have some pressure from me.

You don't get to live off the teet and also not listen at all.

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The way this is phrased makes it sound unreasonably judgmental, all stick and no carrot. If anyone had spoken to me like this at 18 I'd have been furious. There's not a word of how you might help the kid be less of a hermit, lose less friends, find a job, take care of themselves. Just "some pressure". Who do you think is responsible for the kid being the way they are? Thanks for prefacing it with a warning, I'm wishing I hadn't disregarded it.

> There's not a word of how you might help the kid be less of a hermit, lose less friends, find a job, take care of themselves.

I understand your comment and I just want to say that my comment is assuming we're past that point that you're talking about. I didn't want to write an article. Some kids can be stubborn. Anecdote: My great grandma tried that with my great uncle (all carrot) and he lived in her basement playing videos games until he died of a heart attack. I thought he had the best life because he got to be lazy, but it didn't server him very well. The end. Being a pushover and being considerate is a very fine line that is easy to fuck up.

I'm not saying you should only give out carrots, either. I just think assuming the responsibility lies on the kid to behave correctly doesn't make sense.

Spot on! I have a kid roughly that age who plays VGs. As long as he works, has a plan for his life (school) , helps around home and spends time with friends (face to face), he can play VGs. VGs actually gives me leverage if he doesn't something wrong. If he's living at home, I have some say so in his life. I encourage him to stay home, at least for the next few years. For him, he saves money and life is easier (eats well, laundry, etc), and for me, I get to help form him in a critical part in his life.

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